Closing The Gender [Confidence] Gap
For quite some time, I’ve been thinking about something I read — a girl’s self-esteem peaks at age nine. At nine?! Quite the data point, isn’t it?
I wanted to explore this gender confidence gap by turning back the clock and asking the question: If you could give your nine-year-old self a piece of advice, what would it be?
But I procrastinated. Life got in the way. Other priorities seemed to keep jumping the queue. And then I read an article in my local paper about a report that made my proposed question even more pressing.
The report, based on four studies, suggests that gender stereotypes about intellectual ability emerge early and influence children’s interests — in fact, that’s the title of the report published in the 27 January 2017 edition of Science. When the authors say early, they mean early — as young as six. The net/net of the report is that girls are less likely than boys of the same age to believe that members of their gender are “really, really smart.” And that societal stereotypes shape the interests and career aspirations of both girls and boys. Clearly, we need to figure out how to interrupt this gender confidence gap.
Which brought me back to my question: If you could give your nine-year-old self a piece of advice, what would it be?
If you’re a woman, imagine that you’re able to go back in time to this confidence-precarious age with all of the life experiences you have now and with all of the wisdom you have earned — no matter what your age is today. What would you say that would help her continue to build her confidence? What would you tell her to do more of? Less of? Avoid? Take on? What would you say that would begin to eliminate the gender confidence gap?
And for all the men out there, I want your input too. What would you say to your nine-year-old self to help his future understanding and support of women and girls? What would you encourage him to do to help reduce the gender-based confidence gap?
We know about gender gaps in income parity and leadership representation. There is also a gender gap in confidence. And we need to close them all. Let’s bring together our hearts and smarts and get it done.
I hope you will join the conversation and post your advice in the comments section below (between 25 to 100 words would be ideal). My goal is to compile a curated collection of your advice into an inspirational book for elementary and middle school girls. Please feel free to include one or more of your social media accounts at the end of your comment as I plan to reach out and conduct a number of interviews with contributors for the book.
And with your help, once we hit 500 thoughtful pieces of advice, I will donate $500 to 1Girl, an organization focussed on helping middle school girls build skills in five core areas: conflict resolution, creative problem solving, critical thinking, goal setting, and public speaking. Read all about their great work at 1girl.org.
So, what would you say to your nine-year-old self? What piece of advice would you give? I’ll go first.
Dear Nine-Year-Old Self, I know what I’m about to tell you sucks: life isn’t fair. I’m pretty sure you’ve figured that out already. But don’t let that truth stop you from embracing life fully. Use your wit, kindness, and creativity to stare down your fears and the bullies. And as you skip and stumble through this amazing life, appreciate the little things, fight for the big things and work hard to recognize the difference. P.S. Spend more time with your grandparents. You’ll be glad you did.