The hours of November 9th

6 o’clock in the morning. It is still dark outside and, eventhough November has only arrived, there is already an undescribable cold. I get up and wrap myself in a robe. It is an unhumanely hour to be awake. I have a doctors appointment in an hour. A cold cough shakes through my body. I have no bad thoughts while I stride into the living room. The TV is already on. Muted. I am assuming to see what we all expected. What we all hoped for. I am not wearing my glasses. I walk to the TV. Two news anchors are sitting in a studio, discussing something I can’t hear. At this time it is still election night overseas. The votes are still counted. I look at the graphic below. The first thought that goes through my mind “This graphic must be old. This can’t be the current situation.” I hear my father saying from behind me “Well, looks like Trump is really winning.” My eyes start to sting and my stomach starts to feel like I am dropping to the ground from the 10th floor of New York skyscraper.

Immediately I open Snapchat. After all, it is the age of smartphones and social networks. Camera directioned towards the results. Snapped and send to my friends. I write “Can you believe this?”. Faces full of shock, tears, anger or sorrow come back. No one seems to want to accept it. No one seems to believe it. But everyone knows what this means.

The day goes on. It is full of emotional outbreaks. Sadness, fear, rage, disbelief. Everyone deals differently. My eyes seem to can’t get quiet dry this day. There are people who ask “Why care? It is not your country, not your concern.” They are right it is not my concern. It is all our concern. It isn’t only solidarity. It isn’t only my sensitivity. Trumps victory, or the alt-rights victory, isn’t just America’s concern. I think to myself that those people don’t entirely comprehend the meaning of this. We all live on this earth, so everything that happens on this place is in our interest. No matter your nationality. I remind myself that not everyone is as idealistic as me. But no! It should still concern them, I tell myself. This victory is the final step to set off a blazing right-wing fire across Europe. Brexit was just the kindling to this bonfire.

The last thought that goes through my head that day “After all you could have thought people knew better by now …”