Nickel Novelette: Martian Lawyer

It had taken a while, but the holograph duplication disguise was finally ready for a trial run on Terra, or what many homo sapiens fondly referred to as Earth. There was much to learn about these humans, and it could have been considered a scientific breakthrough field study had the whole ordeal not simply been (more or less) a dare from a friend to see how long one could last unnoticed. Unfortunately, the Martian unwittingly chose a defense attorney to impersonate. Fortunately, said lawyer was notoriously dismal at the job, and although after four days in the Martian had attracted attention, it was of townsfolk quite grateful that Mr. Ertbang was no longer endlessly droning through court cases, accidentally incriminating his poor clients, but instead remaining oddly quiet, following court protocol to a T. The Martian’s goal was to reach ten days without discovery, and all signs pointed to success, until the ninth day posed a challenge even the real Mr. Ertbang would have passed. The prosecutor brought forth new evidence that the incriminated had drown a litter of puppies in the river. The whole court was appalled, first at the shocking news, but then even more so when the defense lawyer’s rebuttal was delivered without the slightest emotional acknowledgment. A distraught jury member leapt to her feet, shouting, “What kind of monster are you!?” The Martian, assuming the worst, fled the court room and back into space, losing the bet, but more importantly confirming the greatest fears of mankind: Martians do not inherently mourn the death of puppies, and thus, by default, are a terrible threat to us all.

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