Coming Out Part 2

I did it. I had come out to my parents, and now I was ready to come out to the world. For what it’s worth, despite the tremendous strain on our relationship, it felt great to finally be out to them. The next two years, were a mixed bag of “are you sure you can’t just change to like women” (my mom) to not talking about it at all (my dad). Through it all, there was no part of me that wished I hadn’t done it.

I was ready to be out to the world! *cue Born this way by Gaga*

I was an openly gay man in Canada, but I hadn’t quite come out to the folks back in India. I didn’t have to, I was never going to see them again, nor did I have any intention of staying in contact with most of them. But there was this part of me that didn’t want to conceal this from anyone, even if it was someone I didn't care about.

Towards the end of 2020, I happened upon this documentary on Netflix called Circus of Books, which made me want to come out even more. I was ready now, a full 18 months before I would graduate. At this point, my parents and I were still not seeing eye to eye on my sexuality, but we were having a more open dialogue. Our deal was that I would not come out until I graduated from University, that wouldn’t happen until June, 2022.

I was ready now, a full 18 months before I would graduate.

In January, 2021, I drafted what would be posted to my social media pages, and had my cousin edit it. My cousin and I were also doing a dopamine fast that week, and I had told my parents I wouldn’t be calling them that week. I published my coming out post on the evening of January 24, 2021. Once it went live, I got a text from my mom saying she knew I was upto something when I said I wouldn’t be calling that week. I hadn’t planned that, it just happened to work that way. I will say that my parents were in their own Euripides play on my coming out to the world. Eventually we worked through it, they haven’t met anyone I dated, or seen me in person since I moved. I’m not sure if we’ll ever see eye to eye when I find my happily ever after. I do know that they want to be a part of my life, which is a step in the right direction.

I’d like to end on this note, the stigma behind being queer is something I don’t understand, I don’t understand most stigmatization. It was a tough road, but I did it, and I couldn’t be happier for having done it. If you are reading this and you’re worried about coming out, it’s a journey that is unique to you, and you’re on your own timeline. Don’t force it, and at the same time don’t diminish it. Personally, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I was not and conform to societal norms that are clearly antiquated. Be true to yourself and live your best life.