My story is how it follows, a 16 years old soon turning 17, hopelessly waiting for someone to guide me into one of the two opposite paths that I want to follow, either pure success , focusing on future, practical, main goal is to follow my dreams, please parents, friends, family and society. Or the other road,of which I just enjoy life like there is no tomorrow, no afterlife, and no one judging, I just want to feel every aspect of life, starting with putting my life in danger, ending with pulling an highlighter party, both those paths sound and look appealing to me, but no one to guide, or to just show me either paths 
Confused I shall say.

The first path I want, is because this is what I've been taught to want my whole life, it is the ultimate success, finding peace with god, and starting a family with an honorable career, it’s every person’s dream or so I was taught, but now this is what i want, because at some point i want to settle at this point, whether i chose this path or the other.

The second path i want, because it is the path the most people secretly want but don’t have the courage to peruse, it is the true meaning of life, to feel everything and to learn from your mistakes not from other peoples mistakes, that’s how you would enjoy life. 
It’s the path that I want because it would upset many people, because I either failed their expectations, or I lived their dream. 
But after that i want to settle. Settle on the first path.

like I said. Confused I am.

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