Words

A few days ago, a developer named Tim Rash wrote a post about replacing APC with Redis. To illustrate his struggle he draws a comparison between women he’s seeing and the caching providers he’s using.

There are two words which describe the tone of his post:

1. Objectification: treating a person as a thing, without regard to their dignity.
2. Disposablility: designed for or capable of being thrown away after being used or used up.

To understand the problems with this post, I’ll rewrite it, replacing APC with Naomi and Redis with Leah. I’ll also replace technical points with human equivalents:

This is when I met Naomi. It was love at first sight! She was awesome (for the time). Naomi and I had whirlwind romance. I would sweet talk Naomi and she would do absolute magic for me. I was using Naomi everywhere. You name it, I was doing it with Naomi. She was phenomenal. Naomi and I were hitched.

Naomi was an amazing woman, but as it happens with whirlwind romances, sometimes as time passes, the passion fades. You get to know each other better, you start to see each other’s shortcomings. Sadly, that is what happened to us. Naomi is stellar for short-term commitment, but as soon as you are under pressure, she goes from a nimble sweetheart to an cumbersome, emotional mess.

It becomes quite apparent what needs to be done. My whirlwind romance to Naomi has to come to end and I need to move on. As it turns out, I have become so dependent on having a relationship that I just can’t bear to go on without one. I realise what I must do, and I feel guilty about it, but I have to do it. I have to find a “replacement” for Naomi before I dump her cumbersome butt.

I go out, I talk to people, read blogs posts. It starts as a crush from a far. Then some Facebook “stalking”. Then we finally meet. After hanging out a couple times. I realise Leah is the one for me. She is smart, quick on her feet, and incredibly powerful. Just what I always wanted. It’s time to make my move. It’s time to dump Naomi…And of course breaking up is hard to do.

I sit Naomi down and I tell her it is over and it’s time to pack up her crap and get out. I have found someone new. She doesn’t lift a finger, she just laughs at me. What’s so funny? She points to the ring on her finger. We are “married”. I have Naomi’s name tattooed on me. I am going to have to remove it to be in a different relationship. I need a divorce, and it is going to be painful…

What was the point of all of that? If I had known what I know now, I would have never gotten married to Naomi.

If I would had been following this principle, I would have been able to throw Naomi out the back door as I was moving Leah in from the front door. It’s definitely costly mistake to make, divorce is ugly.

This is not just a problem with one technical post. It is representative of a culture that ignores how words describe attitudes and behaviour towards people. This affects women particularly, as they are culturally belittled to this day.

When we write, it’s often tempting to infuse our writing with humour. The more entertaining our content, the more people will want to read it. The more people read it, the more relevant/important we will feel.

The problem is that people (and in particular women) are the the butt of this kind of joke. We are trading our own empowerment for the disempowerment of women. We may not be using real names in our stories, but they are true of our culture. When we talk like this, we nudge ourselves in the direction of oppression towards other human beings, for our own liberty.

Why is this even necessary? Why do we need to use these kinds of analogies, when interchangeable analogies exist? Couldn’t Tim have used “seeking employment elsewhere” or “replacing a club membership” instead? After all: Tim made the commitment in the first place. He cheated on Naomi, with Leah. Then wanted to dump Naomi for Leah, because she was more usable than Naomi? More disposable…

These words would have been just as ugly if the names had been Elijah and David. Just not as amusing to the general population. Objectification and disposability are the problem. They happen to be more of a problem for women, thanks to the shaky footing they already have in this industry.

I would like to point out that I contacted Tim (or at least the Reddit account which posted the article) and they dismissed me as a troll. I’m not just calling Tim out — I want everyone with a voice held accountable for their words.

I would also like to thank everyone who reviewed this before I posted it, especially Kayla Daniels.