Life, Love and the Pursuit of Blanks
Yesterday was once in the distant future,
I’d complain how it seemed that time stood still
Then suddenly yesterday was today and then it was gone
Leaving me here with so many blanks to fill.
How is it that so many years have passed
Yet I still feel like I was sixteen just yesterday
How is it that I was so sure I knew it all back then
And have no idea what the hell’s going on in the world today?
When did it stop being acceptable to find myself
In any way other than married with kids and employed?
When did I become a “sad” exception for lack of the above?
Well, move over Barbara Walters, here’s a newsflash: I’m not sad, I’m annoyed.
I made some wrong turns in life, then made U-turns or right turns
Some days it took four wheel drive and going head-on through the issue
When life has tripped me up, each time I fell, bumps and bruises notwithstanding
I didn’t let anything keep me down for long, and I never plan to.
Now I’ve reached that phase of life where the pressure is on
To fall in line with what’s expected; the status quo
I’ll admit, I let that seed of doubt and expectation be planted
But I’m happy to report I never let it grow.
I’ve been blessed in my life, and in my experiences here,
Each day brings something new to learn, to try
I seek balance, harmony and my purpose in life, followed closely
by the burgeoning need to not let life pass me by.
I tell others to treat themselves better, I tell them
That how they treat themselves is how others will, too
And that if they don’t set the definition and amount of their value themselves,
Then the world thinks it has the right to.
Then one day something dawned bright and clear
This sage advice, I myself had missed
These words I said with the intent to empower and emancipate
Described something I, myself, didn’t practice.
I said yes to everyone but me
Made space for everyone’s needs but my own
I gave my time and love away all the time
And wondered why I felt so alone.
I hadn’t yet realized that saying yes to everything
And to everyone but me, took away the choice
My epiphany came out of nowhere that day
An overdue realization that gave me back my own voice.
I own the fact that I made the choice
Whether it was subconscious or confused
I chose to say yes and put others first
But I didn’t choose for my choice to be misused.
Now full of pride and purpose, I step up and stand up on my soapbox,
With the know-how and the knowledge that I’m more than capable, smart & strong,
With pride and purpose that I feel in every fiber of my being,
I realize what the realization made real for me was true all along.