ARE YOU A VICTIM OF TOO MUCH LOVE??
I know! This question is bizarre.
How can a lot of love make you a victim? But some times it does. I have been one myself. And if you are one, it is not easy to know you are.
I remember the day I was in high school when I was crying and sobbing for a tailor spoiled my dress I was to wear at a party. And like always, my mother stopped my Show. She hated it whenever she saw me wailing for things which were then, little to her and like an end of the world to me. And that used to stupefy me, to think of her as a cruel, grim and ruthless mother.
It is now, that I realize, she made me stronger each day.
Happened to you too?
Gradually, such occurrences mean very little to us and we learn to deal with them maturely. Over time, we become prepared to bear small losses and wailing changes to reflection, on problems and their answers.
We all experience this emotional war and chaos of some form or the other every now and then in our lives. And if this is how your mum handled you, you sure do not hit yourself anymore juggling rage and fury. Instead, you shoot with magic bullets until the problem is hit right in the face.
But this is until….
The one person arrives, who has the enormous and gigantic landscape to accommodate your tantrums, to pamper you with a million species of flowers and have a billion shoots which grows a zillion tissues of every brand. Ever wondered if too much love could make you weak?
My husband is a very loving person. And that’s the first thing we all fall for in a partner. But after spending a good time together, I started to realize some things. I gradually developed a habit of clinging on to the slightest hitch and mourn over it for days and sometimes weeks. Because I had him to sympathize with me. Because I had him to listen to me carefully. And so I started holding on to every little thing gone wrong. And this was making me vulnerable and fragile, incapable of facing the real challenges by myself.
We are lucky. Yes, because not everyone has those shoulders to weep on. Not everyone has those eyes to talk to. Not everyone can open their heart without the fear of judgement. If you have that one person’s back to lay on and an arm to tangle it with yours, half your worries are already dead.
Valuing the love the right way is important. Don’t let the pampering become an advantage. Let it be a comfort of having someone who totally understands how embarrassing would it be to look like Steven Tyler at a party. Do not just shed tears for hours for you have someone to wipe them all. Instead, discuss the problem. All the provisions might not sound relevant, but you never know, the ninth or the tenth might. Wailing would never help you reach the tenth.
Nuisances are to be taken lightly. A burnt toast or a bitter coffee shouldn’t spoil your morning. The boss’s criticism shouldn’t replace the wine bottle to be carried home. At times, dealing the smaller issues the wrong way, brings in miles again, when you are really close to resolving the actual problems.
The extra pie of love. Your loved ones will always pay attention to your problems whether big or small. It is you who, in the course of time, have to learn to see a difference between the important and less important. If you keep demanding equal attention for all the problems, the graph of tolerance will sink to make you weaker.
Let that extra pie of love make you strong and sweeten your life.
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