The bravery of being intense

“There will be people who cannot handle your grace, your beauty, your wisdom and your heart. Mostly because they can’t handle their own, but you will never be and have never been ‘too much’ “

intelligence and intensity seems like a threat to people nowadays. 
its almost like people nowadays fear intelligence because intelligent people have the compacity to see through someone, understand someone and feel into someone. most people aren’t ready to be felt by someone else, most people don’t want someone to understand them. They fear being vulnerable, they fear being open. 
Vulnerabitly is a rarity. If you find someone who opens up to you, keep them, they’re rare diamonds. Its the most beautiful things in life that are the rarest. Loyality, trust, emotional intimacy, intensity, vulnerability, sincerity. 
I have always been called “too intense”, as if there’s a limit to investation. They act like there’s a limit to the investation of love, compassion and passion. But in actuality, there is no limit to anything, but people act like there is, or there has to be a limit when it comes to giving. I can’t give enough of myself. I see myself as a river, always flowing, I love giving my unrestricted self to people, I love sharing love, I love to inspire and I love to make someone else feel something they didn’t feel before.

I always hear things like I need to turn off a bit because I might overwhelm someone, or I might scare someone away because I’m too straight foward and I share way too much. I have always been called complicated and I’m “hard to handle” or I’m just exhausting to people. this is just who I am, I’m an emotional person and I’m not gonna make myself suitable anymore just because someone isn’t comfortable with me. I’m an intense person, can’t stand relationships with a half-heart. 
And for the sake of intimacy, I don’t wanna be friends, or date, a phantom. I’m not interested in a relationship where I’m the one who waters it all the time, don’t want a closed book that don’t wants to open. I want mutual interest, mutual investment and mutual support. A mutual connection where someone who sees into my soul and open themselves uo to me as well. That type of connection that doesn’t get bored, no matter how long yall talk, yall sit on the rooftop of a house and talk all night long about open minded stuff. thats exactly what I want. I don’t want people to doubt my visions like “keep realistic” I like it when people jump on board and support my ideas. I love being validated.

I won’t let people treat me how they want anymore. Too long people treated me like a doormat because I didn’t stand up for myself. Too long people disrespected me because I was different. Too long people wanted to change me for the sake of fitting in their limited worldview. I don’t want to put myself in a closet just because someone thinks I’m too much. I love being “too much”. I’m proud that I don’t fit into this zombie society, I’m proud of my sense of individuality and expression. I’d rather be completely alone than putting a mask on to fit in. I love being “too much” because I celebrate individuality and intensity, when I’m into someone, or have a close friendship with someone, its with all my heart and passion. I open myself up, like completely, you’ll know from my ups and downs, my struggles, my lessons, my visions and ideas, my secrets, you’ll be a part of my journey. I totally include you as part of me. I won’t restrict myself for someone else anymore.

I appreciate people with a sense of depth. I crave intelligent people because I want to connect on all levels. Emotional intelligence is in my opinion the hardest to find. I love emotional depths, mental depths as well, but I love when someone is capable of showing emotion. Emotional intelligent people are able to feel into you before you even say whats going on with you, they see it in your eyes, they feel it in your vibe. They understand you, validate you, they intuitively know what you need. My favorite kind of people are those who recognize you’re sad just by the sound of your voice. Emotional intelligent people won’t leave you just because it gets complicated, they’re commited to growth and expansion, their mentality is wonderful, they know a relationship expands when you are capable of dealing with a conflict, the compacity of understanding someone, and the ability to go through this together and grow through this. This is real commitment, commitment isn’t leaving someone because they made a mistake or leaving because something got complicated. You work with them together. And your relationship will grow as well.

I am commited to self expression and passion. I will stay commited to expansion and self love, no one will take that away from me.