There’s now a space between us

I wish I’d be your starry night. I wish you’d still look into my starry eyes

My head is torn, everyone feels like you because I can’t get you out of my mind. I tried my darling but it backfires. can’t stand the image of my hands you once held. can’t stand the absense of you. can’t stand the quiet.

But if I keep my eyes closed, you’re with me, right next to me, its almost like the wind’s your breath. the warmth of the sun feels like your presence.

can’t stand the fact that you’re closer in my dreams than you are in reality. at least I can touch the vision of you, at least I can feel the image of you. For the first time I didn’t want to wake up. Let me sleep if I can only reach out for you in my dreams. can’t stand the thought of you because I can’t stand the fact that you’re gone.

And I try to refrain, but you’re stuck in my brain.
And all I do is cry and complain because second’s not the same.

paper’s empty, can’t write the things my heart says. wish I could translate the intensity. wish I could verbalize the pain of my chest. No amount of poetry could ever express my love for you. No amount of words could ever express the pain of your absense.

can’t get the image out of my head when you were still here. can’t get the questions out of my head what would have been different if you were still here. would you still be there if I could turn back the hands of time?

I feel like I have to pretend that I’m not hurt. I think I’m going to pretend that I’m not crying myself to sleep. Keep pretending I’m all okay with it. I realized that the moment I started missing you, you were already gone. I will never forgive myself for putting myself in the position of losing you.can’t stand the fact I wasn’t worth a second chance.

I told them “I can’t deny how I feel when she looks at me, its almost like she is looking behind a mask, she sees me, all of me, I never felt that way with anyone ever before. never felt this intensity. never felt this deep affection. I love her” and I always start to complain and I cry because you’re not here with me. I wish you’d be next to me. I wish I could still fall asleep in your arms, knowing I’m gonna wake up in your arms again. I still want you to hold me tight at stormy nights and I still want to feel your lips on mine.

I’m lying awake in bed and I swear I can still feel the spots where you touched me. I still feel your arms around me as if you were. You shaped my body with memory. You shaped my heart as no one ever did before. I knew when I slept on your chest for the first time, your heartbeat was my favorite lullaby. I knew the blue of your eyes was my favorite color.

I can’t stand the space between us..

.. but at least we’re under the same horizon.

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