A Step Away
Far away
Somewhere far away
As the room spins, I think to myself that my mind is too far-gone
I’m just too far away
I’m a step away
A half a step away
You know, that gray area, that fine line, that so-called thin line between love and hate
As of late, lack of clarity has my sanity at stake and convinced that my birth was a mistake
I’m struggling
I’m just a step away
A half of a step away
While in the liquor store yesterday and a woman asked me for a quarter
I reached in my pocket and replied, “Sure, have two.”
Then quickly turned away
She’s known as the neighborhood alcoholic and heroin addict
We reflect one another
A truth that struck my soul with fear
Oh well, what the hell, I just need five or six beers
Dear heaven
I’m just a step away
A half a step away
I want to “go where everybody knows my name,” like an actress on Cheers
They say that the world is a stage and we’re all actors
So, I’ll be an actress right now and drink a few more beers
I don’t want to face reality
Honestly, I don’t want to be here
From insanity
I’m a step away
A half a step away
As I entered the liquor store today, the same woman asked me for two quarters
I reached in my pocket, gave her three, and quickly turned away
I purchased a few drinks, walked home, sat at my table all alone, almost unable to drink another beer
Being an addict is a death sentenced I’ve always feared
Gradually, I’m becoming her, in real life, in real time
Thoughts of committing suicide resurface
My heart and soul don’t want to be here
As I sip my drink, I’m forced to face reality
I’m more than a step away
My mind is too far-gone
Dear God, I can’t stop drinking
I’m lost
I’m too far away
Connect with me on Instagram, Secret Energy, LinkedIn, GitHub.
Poem originally written in 2007 by Astra Rai Daniels , © 2009 by Astra Rai AKA Sober Coder
