Maegan Hall, Black Women and the Sin of Eve
Two Sides of the Mirror
With memories of Tyre Nichols fresh on the minds of the global black community, it wasn’t long before the police were in the news again.
This time for news of gross misconduct within the ranks. Married cop Maegan Hall was found to have had an affair with not one individual at her place of work — but five. Osanobua.
On reading the news I paused. Thinking of all the publications I was never meant to read or wished I had never even heard of. But had. Publications aimed at systematically denigrating the image of black women and encouraging the world to see them as nothing more than sex objects. Alongside whispers of the “defiling” touch of black men and the so-called “purity” of white women.
A Thousand Lies — and Their Consequences
I recalled a statement made by Durex claiming 62% of Nigerian women had cheated on their spouses, naming them the most unfaithful in the world. An announcement that was picked up by publications all over Asia and Europe. It is no coincidence that most incidences of gross disrespect to black women come from men from these parts of the world, although it is actually a global phenomenon.
One profoundly troubling example was a series of messages which was revealed on Nigerian social media, between a Chinese employer and a Nigerian worker. The contents were disturbing to say the least. Supremely so. The Chinese man was pressuring the female employee for a physical relationship and his assurances, that she would only have to deal with him and no one else, were soul-destroying.
In Nigeria, women do not just work for themselves, they work to support their parents, a little brother through school, a beloved little sister in learning a trade. And I cursed the ineptitude of a government that permitted foreigners to maltreat its people in their own home, while their own children lived lives of unparalleled prosperity as a result of such treachery.
The girl refused and went on to resign. An act of incredible courage in a nation like Nigeria. But then again submitting to the touch of such an individual certainly had to be far far worse, than facing the harshness of the economy head-on.
A Study in Folly
And I thought of the utter stupidity that often accompanied ill-thought-out lies such as those spouted by the condom manufacturer. One which could and did have real consequences for black women the world over. On one hand, were western NGOs fighting against female circumcision or FGM, in black African countries, on the other hand, was this condom manufacturer declaring that women from a nation where the practice was widespread, were serially unfaithful.
I mean, do the math, how could women several of whom had no desire for physical intimacy, who probably lived in fear of the pain that must surely now come with it, go out and seek it at will? Another incarnation of the lie repeated a thousand times to give it the semblance of truth.
Eve’s Sin
Beyond circumcision, there is also the fact that Nigerian women are not western women. Theirs is the burden of the sin of Eve. The burden of blame.
There is little room for infidelity in a society where ridicule for unmarried women and women deemed too free with their favors is enshrined in its very fabric. In a nation where traditional religions hold sway even in face of the immense influence of the monotheistic belief systems forced upon us by bloodshed and conquest.
Where it is the practice in certain cultures to take women to the altars of traditional deities to swear oaths of fidelity to their spouses that no sane person would dare think of breaking for fear of swift and terrible retribution. (And just in case you were wondering if men are exempt from such an exercise, they most certainly are. The phrase “It’s a man’s world”, holds true in Nigeria, like few places elsewhere on the globe.)
Where the measure of a woman’s virtue is directly proportional to her ability to honor her husband and her inlaws even though they humiliate and mistreat her. A good woman is one who continues to cater to her husband and honor him — and his family by extension — as the “Head” ordained by God Almighty irrespective of his infidelities. Never mind the risk of venereal diseases or the wounds inflicted on her soul and those of her children watching.
A Shocking Study in Infidelity, Nigerian-Style
As a matter of fact, last year, the Nigerian internet imploded when a popular, much-loved actor, devoted husband, and doting father of four, announced another woman had given birth to a now one-year-old infant outside his marriage of almost two decades, unleashing a tidal shockwave of epic proportions.
The anguished response of his wife beneath the announcement and the images of the very pregnant second wife and of a cute toddler grinning in his father’s arms, were proof she had just found out along with everyone else: “May God judge you both”, she wrote. A statement as poignant as it was brief.
The internet streets were set ablaze and they would burn for weeks on end. Fans from Ghana, Kenya, the Caribbean — all over the world — voiced their disappointment in the actor who they had admired for his baritone voice, good looks and devotion to family values. But the actor himself was too busy living his best life to care buoyed by the staunch support of several Nigerian men who trooped out in their numbers to valiantly do battle on his behalf.
Of Trees and Apples
But apples don’t fall far from the tree. The actor was actually the son of Nollywood royalty, a veteran actor venerated by many along with the legendary Olu Jacobs, as one of the Fathers of Nollywood. And yet, it turned out this much-loved figure actually espoused the same views of the place of women in marriage. I mean he had only once advised women to pack condoms in philandering husbands’ luggage to show the extent of their devotion to said men.
The actor who caused the internet to burn and burn spectacularly has since regaled the internet with news of his many movie releases with his new flame while randomly gaslighting his wife and exhorting her to chill out and accept the status quo. Like I said, a man’s world.
Of Gender Swapping and Very Different Results
One can only imagine what the situation would have looked like if the shoe were on the other foot. If a well-known actress had stepped out on her marriage and begun to parade a younger man and her child out of wedlock. Suffice to say her reputation would have been irreparably damaged. She would have been utterly and totally done for. With nothing short of a miracle being capable of restoring her career and name and perhaps not even that. To put it simply in Nigerian street lingo: her own for don finish, kpata kpata.
The Incident That Threw a Nation Into Mourning
But perhaps the most painful example of what Nigerian women are expected to endure in the name of staying married occurred on 8 April last year, when renowned gospel singer Osinachi Nwachukwu of the hit song Ekwueme was found to have died as a result of injuries to her lungs and chest.
Nigeria and Africa were thrown into shock as her mother came forward and told the tale of her husband’s cruelty to her. An account confirmed when Dr. Paul Enenche, senior pastor of megachurch Dunamis spoke of the assistance he had given her in sending her to renowned doctors for tests and reports he had heard from a popular producer of the singer’s husband's cruelty towards her in the studio, at which point the reverend and medical doctor had challenged the musician for allowing such an incident to occur in his presence without checking the husband. Reports confirmed by the producer himself on his Instagram page.
As one the Pentecostal church in Nigeria which had wholly exhorted women in Nigeria to pray away the wrong in their marriages and endure all the anguish that came with it now declared to them that their lives were all that mattered. Kudos to Dr. Paul Enenche who has always held that stance even before the tragic incident and who more recently, has been outspoken in the face of the utter and very deliberate ineptitude of the current ruling party, while several of his counterparts have remained silent.
The Truth in Its Entirety
This then is the reality of the Nigerian woman. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that it does not involve cheating with impunity. Not when it comes with consequences too heavy to bear. And beliefs in the innate sanctity of intimacy.
If western women are exempt from the sin of Eve, black women on the continent, and in the diaspora are not. In spite of the hateful lies of foreign media and corporations designed to smear our image to make us seem less in the eyes of a watching world.
