Remembering my brother Eugene Fornier
29/10/1940–20/07/2020
by Astrid Tholens-Fornier
“Wrinkles test the skin, but never the soul.
Youth is not a time of life but a state of mind.”
My brother Eugene wrote an autobiography as he realized that he was the only one who carried the memories of his family whilst living in the Netherlands. I have chosen a small section of his story and will try and tell it in my own words.
He was born on the 29.10.1940 in Winterswijk, Gelderland, the Northeast region of the Netherlands.
“It was the local custom that a long fruit-loaf style of bread be baked at the same weight as the infant and delivered by pony and trap from the bakehouse to the home of the proud parents.”
When he was ten years old (on 25th May 1950) the family left the country town of Winterswijk and moved to the capital Amsterdam. Our Pappie (Paul Fornier) was born in Groenlo, and Mammie (Netty Tholens) was born in Amsterdam. After they married they moved to Winterswijk.
My father had been the Manager of a Textile Factory in Winterswijk but it was difficult to keep the business going after the war. So he decided to set up an office in his house in Amsterdam to expand his business. My mother had enjoyed the country life since she was married…but was happy to return to her hometown. She was able to spend more time with her parents and other friends, artists and musicians, and would gladly entertain them in her house. She was a pianist, and owned a grand piano and loved playing music with other musicians.
Eugene explains that as a result of the war (World War II) and the move from Winterswijk to Amsterdam …he developed a nervous disposition and as a result a lack of discipline. When my parents hired domestic servants and carers to look after the children and Eugene hated their strict control to try and keep him in line. He felt the lack of personal contact with our mother, and he resented this change. It made him even more unruly, and he felt he lost his self-esteem. However, in the eyes of our mother he could do no wrong!
He would complain until the servants/carers either got sacked or left. It was an era where accomplished business managers and the upper class could afford to hire servants from the country which gave grown-ups more time to enjoy social outings and parties at home.
Even the school was radically different as we were all (four children) sent to a Montessori School where children learnt at their own pace. My mother was a Montessori teacher before she got married. Both me and my sister did very well there, but the two boys not so well. As Eugene was struggling with his education, my mother sent Eugene to a horse-riding school, and this helped him a lot and was able to quiet him down. At first, he was terrified of the size of the horses, but soon he loved their company and became fixated on riding horses to the exclusion of all else.
He never continued his high school education. He preferred to help with the grooming and the feeding of the horses, and he would get free rides as well as the sessions paid for by our parents. He would clean out the stables, hose the place down, stack the hay, and he seemed happy! By age 15 he ended up teaching lessons to other children and was getting paid for it. But this did not satisfy the plans of my parents for their eldest son!
In 1954 my parents had other worries as the Asian imports flooded the country and my father was losing the fight to stay in business. One day we were all invited to sit at the dinner table to discuss leaving the Netherlands and migrating to a different country, a choice between Canada and Australia… my parents chose Australia!
The young ones were excited about this option…but Eugene was not happy about this proposal. However, he was outvoted. He refused all of his vaccination shots and wanted to run away. They had to give him the vaccination shots whilst he was asleep. He then planned to return as soon as he made enough money in the new country to pay for his fare back to the Netherlands! The best plans of mice and men!
By Dec 1956 we migrated to Australia, and our lives were never the same again.
“When the boat moved from the peer and the water got wider and wider, it was the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me, on par with watching a love one die….and something died in me, a lost youth and uncertainty ahead! “
But it did give us all (six of us) lots of opportunities that may not have been possible in the Netherlands! Especially with regards to having no servants…and everyone had to pull together to make it work. Once again we became a close-knit family.
First we stayed at the Wacol Migrant Centre near Ipswich, and within two weeks Eugene found a job on a farm …the owners were looking for a young man of 16 who could ride a horse! He was very surprised and everyone was pleased for him. A new chapter began for all of us….
