50 Pieces of Advice from 50 Hours in Therapy

  1. Don’t panic. You are the boss.
  2. If you don’t click with your therapist within two sessions, request for a change of therapist.
  3. If your therapist is offended, all the more reason you should ask for a change!
  4. If anything your therapist says doesn’t sit right with you, do not hesitate to ask for clarification.
  5. If anything your therapist says makes you feel uncomfortable, do not hesitate to say so.
  6. Your therapist will not, and should not, judge you under any circumstances!
  7. Ask about your therapist’s therapeutic approach or modality. Do the research and see if it applies to your particular issue or condition.
  8. Case formulation is a thing. If they didn’t do it with you, I don’t know what they are doing.
  9. Make sure both you and your therapist are aware of your therapy goals and are continually working towards them.
  10. Do not be afraid to challenge your therapist. A good therapist will respond well to feedback.
  11. If you don’t feel anything after a session, or if you feel calm after every session, you might not be doing enough work in therapy.
  12. You can journal about your experiences and revelations from therapy.
  13. You can show your therapist your written journal entries if it helps you to communicate your feelings.
  14. You are not crazy. Whatever you are experiencing, chances are your therapist has already encountered it twice before you.
  15. Even if your experience is completely new to your therapist, a good therapist would seek supervision to help you with your issues. Otherwise, they would refer you to someone who is better able to.
  16. A good therapist will ask for your permission before sharing information about you with their colleagues.
  17. A good therapist will break confidentiality if you are hurting yourself.
  18. If a therapist ever bends the rules specially for you, ditch them. Ethics is paramount.
  19. Go to therapy with an open mind.
  20. Be prepared to cry a lot.
  21. If your therapist tells you to stop crying, ditch them.
  22. Transference is completely normal and you can absolutely tell your therapist about it and work on it together.
  23. A good therapist does not talk about themselves too often.
  24. Your therapy time belongs to you and to you only.
  25. You can absolutely stalk your therapist on the Internet and tell them about your findings. It is not a crime and they should not be creeped out by you.
  26. Your past experiences are not your fault.
  27. Be gentle with yourself.
  28. Have the same compassion for yourself as you would have for a friend.
  29. You are never alone. (cliché but true)
  30. It is okay to ask for a therapy break.
  31. You can slowly reduce the frequency of therapy if you feel that you’re starting to do fine without it.
  32. Remember that your therapist is human too and can make mistakes. Do not place them on a pedestal.
  33. Your therapist cares about you. At least good ones do.
  34. Your therapist cannot and should not force you to do anything. That would defeat the whole purpose of therapy.
  35. Ultimately, you are your own hero. Your therapist is only a guide.
  36. Therapy is sacred and you don’t have to talk about it with anyone if you don’t want to.
  37. Your therapist shouldn’t talk too much about their other clients.
  38. Transitional objects are a thing!!
  39. If your therapist starts forgetting things often or looking inattentive, ditch them.
  40. Communicate with your therapist about wanting to leave therapy before actually ditching them. This gives them a chance to make amends.
  41. You are sick enough. I don’t care how many people are in a worse condition than you. You are sick enough.
  42. You deserve therapy and all the help you can get.
  43. You are not a waste of resource.
  44. You are not a hopeless case.
  45. Your therapist believes in you and isn’t just lying to make you feel better.
  46. You therapist learns from you.
  47. Your therapist is proud of you.
  48. You may not have the confidence right now, but borrow your therapist’s confidence that it gets better.
  49. It does get better. Don’t lose hope! :)



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Astris C

Astris C


20 | Singapore | Mental health advocate | Psychology student | Writer | Support me here: https://ko-fi.com/astrisc261