Moving to New York after graduation

alexis
alexis
Nov 7 · 6 min read

Graduation is a scary thing, and I think that’s something everyone can confidently agree on. It’s not something that makes a lot of sense to you while you’re doing it since you’ve spent the last 4 years or more developing and sustaining your identity around it.

Sustaining an identity around the people you’ve met through college, the groups you’ve joined there, the memories you’ve made and the common ground that unites you all.

For me, it felt more like an abrupt stopping point rather than a gradual move into the “real world.” Full of “What do we do now?” and watching your friends disappear one by one right out of your grip. And with some of them, you didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.

And that’s okay because there’s beauty in the ignorance and blind optimism that you’ll see them again.

So what did I do?

Moving to New York is no easy feat, it takes a lot of grit, but most of all you just kind of have to believe in yourself. It’s a cheesy trope that no one wants to hear, because what does that really mean anyway?

Here’s what it means to me.

As a black queer woman from North Carolina who dreamed about moving to New York since she was 12, there was absolutely nothing that was going to stop me from living my dream.

Let’s start there. This is my story.

After graduation, I amassed a whopping $1000 in taking graduation pictures for all of my friends and hopeful strangers in order to pay rent. Ideally, this money was going to be for my first month’s rent in New York City.

Nothing went as planned.

I actually ended up in D.C. and I kind of felt like the world was going to end and that I’d never end up in New York like I’d always planned, and I’d sort of just have to settle and probably move to Florida with two kids and a dog. (I don’t like kids or dogs.)

This is where the whole cheesy, high school musical-esque incredibly frustrating and pretty mundane ~believing in yourself thing comes in.

Moving to D.C. was pretty fucking depressing, and to be honest I didn’t enjoy any of it. The city was not for me. I always knew I wanted to be in New York.

Although my jobs were incredible, while I was in D.C. you have to live in a place you love to feel happy and that’s just life. Your home is where you go every night, and you have to find peace there.

Many depressed nights in D.C. Alone in my room, probably listening to Lorde repeatedly hoping for some sort of sign that what I was doing made sense. The most painful yet eye-opening realization was that life won’t just fall into your lap.

Especially as a woman of color.

To do what you want to do you have to work more than twice as hard to get there. There will be no sign written in the stars by Lorde to tell you that growing up gets easier and things start to make sense.

What Lorde will tell you is that getting old is scary and nothing will make sense probably ever. And that’s just the fuck of it all.

What happened next is what you hear in all the movies and TV shows and teen novels about white people written by John Green & Co. Something you really don’t want to hear, because it is the furthest thing from sensible and financially it could destroy you. You will hate this next part, but I’m going to tell you anyway.

I left D.C. when my jobs ended and I didn’t go back home. I packed a suitcase and a carry on bag and took the first bus to New York City. I had my final paycheck to my name and hope that maintained strength powerful enough to outweigh any doubts I had about myself and my capabilities.

Of course, the question arose, where the hell was I going to live? Right before I left D.C. I asked a friend to let me stay with them for one month until I had the chance to complete interviews and figure everything out. While I realize not everyone is this lucky, you’d be surprised at how kind people can actually be while you get on your feet.

However, if you have the money saved to find housing here are some websites I recommend:

Somehow through all that depression and misery D.C. brought me, I was still applying to jobs and putting my name out there. I applied to every single place I could think of in New York hoping just one person would bite and it would make all the difference.

Here are the mediums I used:

  • A simple google search, I work in social media so I would just type “Social Media Jobs New York” and toggle the Date Posted feature to “Past Month” so I’m not cluttered with old job postings that are probably already filled.
  • LinkedIn is my new favorite place to find jobs, not only does it list jobs incredibly related to you and your skillset listed on your profile, but the algorithm filters jobs based on where you have connections from school and work as well. It’s a genius networking hub. Always go to the company website to apply, do not Easy Apply on LinkedIn.
  • Everything isn’t always listed on either of these mediums so it’s important to also go to the websites of brands that you love, scroll all the way to the bottom and click “Careers” or “Jobs” if it’s somewhere you’d really like to work.

Here’s how I created my resume:

  • Canva is a wonderful source there is so much room to be creative and really tailor your resume to fit you. There are tons of templates you can use and customize.
  • This is the illustrator I used for a small avatar of my face, but I also recommend Madi Whalen who is creating a new avatar for me that will be added to my resume. I think it’s important to have your face on your resume and to be creative with how you present yourself.

Here’s what I used to create my website:

  • Insert the Squarespace YouTube sponsored ad we’ve all heard.

After what felt like an eternity of radio silence from everywhere that I applied, I was finally starting to see results. Whether I got the jobs or not, knowing that people wanted to hire me made all the difference, and like one of my closest friends continued to remind me,

It will happen to you, and it will happen for you.

Despite the doubt that inevitably crept in, and many nights where I felt like I should just go home, I finally got a job doing something I love in the city that I longed to be part of my entire life.

Disclaimer, this was only after a lot of crying, a lot of calling my mom and grandma asking for advice, a lot of long walks alone and playlists on Spotify, and a LOT of giving up an restarting.

This will not be a fairytale, it’s not supposed to be.

Imposter syndrome is all-encompassing and exhausting, and there will be days when support isn’t even enough, but if you believe that you can do something genuinely in your heart and you mean that shit, you will do it and no one will stand in your way.

I came from nothing and made it something bigger than I could’ve ever imagined. I used to worry if I would have heat, lights, or water to even take a shower. Now I’m signing off from my desk at Business Insider.

This isn’t a pick yourself up by your bootstraps mantra, because we all know that’s a bunch of bullshit. It’s an acknowledgment that life is incredibly hard, getting where you want to be will be difficult and sometimes depressing, but the fire that you have inside you to live your dream can and will prevail.

I still haven’t figured it all out, but thank you to everyone that helped along the way.

alexis

Written by

alexis

she/they • 🌈 • social fellow, @businessinsider @taylorswift13 —forever going with the flow #nowplaying cruel_summer.mp3

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