Here’s my Story…
For about two years now I have struggled with finding a balence between being happy and being healthy.
I began to cut carbs out of my life because I was told that was the best way to loose weight. I was 15 and little did I know this was the start to a long journey. I didn’t hate the way my body looked, I just wanted it to look better. To look skinner. To look like other girls’ that seemed to love their body.
Fast forward a year, carbs were no longer a food group in my diet. In fact they scared me, like a lot. Not having them changed who I was, how I acted, my mental stability and encouraged me to restrict from more foods. But hey, the comments of how skinny I loooked was an assurance that I must be doing something right and motivated me to keep going. Plus, I slowly began to hate my body as nothing ever satisfied me.
The beginning of my last semester of high school, I began to realize that I haven’t felt happy since freshmen year. I wasted so much of my high school journey on focusing on trying to achieve this certain type of body. This realization (which of course took lots of time and energy to figure out)+ advice from my therapist and nutritionist + training for my second half marathon led me to incorporate more carbs into my life.
I really began to embrace being a teenager and a senior in high school as the weeks were winding down. All of a sudden, I stopped obsessing over exercising and food because I was too busy being social and making memories. I quickly went from one extreme to the other.
It is now summer between high school and my freshmen year of college. As hard as it is for me to admit this, I have gained weight in the past few months. My fear of not obsessing over foods because I would gain weight actually came true. However, it was the most happy I have been in a long time.
I now feel like I’m at a crossroads. I can go down the “healthy-living” path and loose weight or I can continue to be happy and hang out with friends without worrying so much about what I feed my body.
This was the decision I felt I had to make after living both extremes. I then decided to join CHAARG: a health and fitness organization for college girls. I thought joining a fitplan through chaarg would be the beginning of going back down the path of attempting to change the number on the scale. But it certainly was not.
CHAARG has taught me that it is possible to find the balence between being happya nd living out my social life as an 18 year odl while also caring about working outa nd eating healthy for my pleasure and because I want to. Typing this out makes me think “DUH!!?!?!?” — but I honestly did not think it was possible just a month ago. Of course, I have not acheived this balance as it has only been three weeks, but seeing this possibility of this path has already chnaged my mindset and I have never loved myself more than I do now.
There is so much more to learn and love about myself, but my motivation from being apart of this community allows me to admire my strength as I watch myself workout in front of a mirror, indulge in a petit four that my grandmother bought for me, and listen to what I body wants and needs without judging.
I can’t wait to continue to express my ideas througjout thsi journey through writing and to share my stories hoping they can teach or inspire others!
With lots of love,