No Struggle, No Change

If every year in your life was a chapter, last year for me would have been named ‘No Struggle, No Change’. Since the start of 2015 a lot has changed and it has come with many highs and lows, but all of which I feel have pushed me to my limits and have shaped the person that I have become today.

One of those life changing moments, and probably one of the biggest in my life so far, had been leaving my job, of which I’d been working for the last 6 years. Many things have changed since my first day, it has given me so much room to grow, improve and meet new people. One of the most rewarding aspects was the opportunity to build and grow my own team. I was able to inspire and challenge them, ultimately watch them grow into the people they have become today.

However, this all came to an end, people that had worked there for years were now leaving and the work environment was changing, with more focused on money and margins, rather than people and connection. This left me with a feeling of disconnect and feeling as though I was not being respected for the effort and time that I was putting into the job. It is very easy to give people the benefit of the doubt, however you must realise your self value, and when you are being treated like a place holder.

It no longer was enjoyable, it no longer pushed me to my limits, it just was a simple means to get by. Whilst for most a monthly salary would be seen as something secure, I have started to realise the opposite. I’m now afraid of getting comfortable, losing control over my own circumstances, not being myself any more. It also had a big impact on my health and well being and at that point it lead to my decision to hand my notice in, and have no regrets.

It’s easy to get sucked up into things you didn’t want to do in the first place. This can be binge watching your favourite programme too long. It could be a toxic friendship, which lasted longer than it should have. Or it could be working at a job that you should have left years ago.

It really doesn’t matter what it is, it is important to realise this and to seek change. Whether that is new experiences in far away lands, or meeting new people, all of these can lead to a change of direction in your life.

‘Rushing into the unknown is exhilarating’

Moving on was exciting, thinking of the new opportunity out there that are awaiting me, and knowing that there are no limits in life. You can literally do whatever you want, as long as you work hard and get a little bit lucky, you will be able to achieve your dream/goal. This excitement was also mixed with fear and self-doubt, unsure of a direction that I need to being heading in, and ultimately what will come next. I still don’t have the answers for these questions I constantly ask myself, however I feel better for moving on, I finally feel as though I can breathe again.

I did manage to find a job to tie me over for a couple of months, however this was something that I didn’t find interesting and was a temporary position. It was nice to be respected for the work that I produced, which was lacking in my previous job. However, It lacked development opportunities and the need to be pushed to my limits, to learn something new every day.

I am still on that quest, and with persistence and with every small step, I take every day, it will lead to a bigger change in the future.

I would like to finish by including a quote from Jack Kerouac, which helps me stay inspired and to keep pushing myself.

I’m terrified but excited. Onto something new, let’s do this!

Yours truly,

Ben

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