Songs of Corporate Synergy

Sometimes You Have to Punch a Bag to Get a Good Workout

Disclaimer: I am reviewing the new U2 album, Songs of Innocence, as heard through my tinny Macbook Air (Mid-2012 ) speakers. Make no mistake, this is a terrible way to listen to music, but, alas, Apple and Bono did not provide me with any Beats to listen to the album they graciously added to my iTunes account. I also tried to write this as fast as possible to capitalize on the viral viability of this topic and basically to get my name out there.

“The Miracle (of Joey Ramone)”

This song tries to approach the Ramones through gang vox. It’s not as good as a song by the Ramones. It sounds like U2 has never listened to a Ramones song before. Bono describes Ramones songs as “beautiful,” but, point of fact, Ramones songs are best when they sound like garbage. This sounds especially bad coming through my Macbook Air speakers.

“Every Breaking Wave”

This song has a nautical theme. You can hear the waves when Edge does stuff with effects pedals. Someone should take Edge’s effects pedals away. The end of the song kind of cops “The Ocean Breathes Salty” by Modest Mouse. That song is much better than this song. Modest Mouse is another band with some dirt on it; U2, of late, sounds like a polished alu-mini-um turd.


“California (There is No End to Love)”

Edge is the main songwriter for this one. It alludes to the Beach Boys at the top; once again U2 calls attention to a band much better than U2. I’m told Edge wrote this song while watching the iPhone 6 spinning around. The song is specifically about the iPhone 6's new NFC payment technology, which will make it easier for consumers to spend money at their favorite establishments such as Panera Bread, Starbucks, and the Disney Store.

“Songs for Someone”

This song, I’ve read passingly, was written by Bono for his wife. He titled it “Songs for Someone.”

U2's first studio album in five years—is a triumph of dynamic, focused renaissance. —Rolling Stone
Rolling Stone reiewing this album.

“Iris (Hold Me Close)”

THIS SONG. This song sounds like a U2 song. Edge is all choppy, but slightly atmospheric in a way that harkens back to a simpler, more hopeful time, a time when iOS was called iPhone OS. Those were the days. You couldn’t even install third-party apps then.


“Volcano”

“Raised By Wolves”


“Cedarwood Road”

“Sleep Like a Baby Tonight”


“This is Where You Can Reach Me Now”

Cool, I’ll save that U2 link you sent me for later lol have you heard of Kanye?

“The Troubles”

The Apple Watch may not be out yet, but the new iPhone models look like bonafide hits.
On Monday, Apple AAPL -0.06% announced a record number of preorders for the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, with over four million devices sold in the first 24 hours. That’s double the number of orders placed in the first day the iPhone 5 came out two years ago.
Apple is counting on the new, larger phones — iPhone 6 has a 4.7-inch screen, while the 6 Plus clocks in at 5.5 inches — to continue the company’s stellar growth trajectory. Analysts estimate the phones will be Apple’s best selling yet. They go on sale in stores on September 19. — Forbes
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