It kind of fascinates me that you view this as maintaining autonomy and I view it as losing that because it feels to me like forever being indebted to someone. I don’t know if I could ever view myself as independent if I felt like everything I wanted to do with a person would come at a cost. It just seems like trading one for of guilt — not having enough money — for another form of guilt — have I done enough to earn this?
But this is not me knocking your system. If it works for you, keep on with it. We each have to manage our own realities when it comes to partners and money.