“I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”
This pervasive and futile statement is one that we’ve spoken or heard time and again. It’s a statement that breeds frustration, self-loathing, social comparison and the like.
For some reason, we share an odd belief that concrete aspiration is the impetus to success and that the lack thereof is what separates those who ‘make it’ from those who don’t. That if I have no dream job, company I want to work for, or city I want to live in — I will be without serenity or purpose. That I ought to start searching, because if I don’t, I won’t ever be happy or even more, won’t ‘make it.’
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” — Seneca
Not long ago, I attended a talk by Jason Mayden. He was a concrete aspirer. Mayden always knew what he wanted to do and that was design shoes at Nike. As a kid, he would call the number on the Nike shoebox in attempt to speak with employees. He even sent letters. In college, he kept a large, detailed drawing of the Nike Headquarters on his apartment wall. His sophomore year, he would be offered a design internship at Nike. He went on to work with Michael Jordan, collaborated with other luminary athletes, developed a great relationship with Phil Knight (Nike’s Founder), and designed one of Nike’s best selling shoes to-date.
Now, this wouldn’t be the premise of his talk, but it would be the basis for my subsequent reflection.
I brought myself back to that statement. You know, the one I started the article with. I found myself disconcerted by the lack of concrete aspiration in my own life. Because there is nothing I am truly seeking after. I recall telling myself these exact words:
“My life lacks purpose.”
Occasionally, I will forget the power that perception has in blinding us from the truth; and truth is the baseline for objectively framing our problems. Getting bogged down by the thought of my life lacking purpose was the most deceitful thing I could do to myself.
The problem was that I was thinking about my life through a lens which was externally focused. I was thinking about my outcomes instead of my output. About what I wanted to get, instead of what I wanted to give.
Jason’s story is moving for a number of reasons, but it was foolish of me to reflect on his outcomes. My mind jumping to the thought of, “Wow, he was a great designer who worked with Michael Jordan, what should I strive to accomplish?” was wrong. Jason did not become a footwear designer at Nike for recognition or to befriend NBA players. Jason surely had an outcome in mind, but more importantly an intrinsic motivation — an obsession with shoes, design and a brand that inspired him. By looking at Jason’s success as a basis for my life’s purpose, I had it all wrong.
But then I made this connection.
I’m currently a marketing designer at OST. When I started, I was introduced to the company’s guiding principles, which were defined by the founding team. If these principles are guiding every interaction, OST believes everything will happen as it should. Today, it has over 200 employees with a global footprint. But that’s not the important part.
You see, OST always knew what it wanted to be for its employees and its clients. Just how Mayden always knew that he loved shoes, design and Nike. It is principles that guided OST and Mayden from the start.
And it’s principles that must guide us too.
Now, we’re not all starting companies. Maybe we don’t have an obsessive craft. But we surely know the things that get us excited. We know what we love sharing with others. And these are the greatest attributes to know and the best beacons of guidance.
We don’t have to know what we ‘want to do’ if we know what guides us.
For me, it’s:
Happiness — always feeling it and sharing it with others
Humor — laughing at myself, laughing with others and making others laugh
Optimism—sharing belief in others, a better world, and in myself
Wisdom — sharing the greatest wisdom with others and learning it too
Being Wildly Great — being the best person I can be to everyone, always
Learning — to never forget that I am forever a student
You see, I heard this brilliant guy talk about his life and it inspired me. Then I thought about what I wanted to do with my life, didn’t have an answer, and became frustrated.
But I didn’t have an answer because I was inspired to think about what I wanted to do with my life based on what he had accomplished, which really only led me to think about what I should accomplish. Then I had the telltale moment when I realized that I should only concern myself with what excites me and what I want to share with others, not what I envision success to look like in my life. And the best way to think about that is through guiding principles.
It isn’t so much knowing what you want to do and what you want your future to look like, as much as it is about what can guide you, regardless of your circumstance. It’s most important for us to define what grounds us internally, not “knowing what we want do with our life.” Once we know this, we live by it. And like OST and Mayden, if we follow what guides us, everything will happen as it should.
So forget about “knowing what you want to do with your life” and write down what guides you. Remind yourself of guiding principles, share them with others, hang them on a wall but most importantly, willfully live by them. That is all we need.
