Yes you have. You are not alone because I do the same thing too. I think a few of us do as well…..if the others want to be honest. I was told by someone close to me that I controlled my truths. “Selective truth” it was called. It was who I was and represented to different people whom I loved and who should never have had to receive it.
It was jarring! But guess what…..it was true.
I know why I have to be like that. It was ingrained and like the military, I also drilled it into my life as a survival mechanism. I no longer need to survive now — in fact, I haven’t needed it for a while but I don’t know how to let go.