How To Ace Eating A Tasting Menu

Aishwarya Tipnis
9 min readSep 9, 2022

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The first time I heard about a Michelin star restaurant was when I was visiting my boyfriend in the US. The now-husband-then-boyfriend obviously wanted to stay on top of his courting game. He had reserved a table for us at a two-Michelin star Italian restaurant in San Francisco. I said, ‘Oh cool, that’s really sweet’. I missed the Michelin part completely. I really thought it was some kind of a joke towards the Michelin Man (the guy who sells tires, remember?)

Photo by Marjan Blan | @marjanblan on Unsplash

It wasn’t until the day of the dinner that I realized I was missing some excitement and more compared to my counterpart. I Googled Michelin. It turns out the Michelin Man had been busy. He instituted the Michelin Guide, which recognizes the best in the restaurant industry. Michelin Guide identifies the best restaurants in the world based on their quality, flavor, technique, personality and value for money. Thus began my journey in fine-dining, thanks to my luck as Prashant’s girlfriend. Boy, boy really brought his A-game.

But what is a Michelin Star dining experience like?

It is one of those life-changing experiences. Your first time will feel awkward, overwhelming, scary, stiff, ludicrous, orgasmic, and exceptionally satisfying at the same time. Tactically, it is a 5–12 course meal spread over about 3 hours and 1,400–2,200 calories in a single sit-down dinner. It is a progressive experience which usually gets better with every course and sometimes more dramatic too. You can expect the Chef’s personality and local produce to feature prominently on the menu. There are no doggie-bags, you snooze, you lose. Sometimes there’s even a surprise course you get to take home with you for the following day. On average, a two Michelin-star restaurant costs $250* per head. Given the price, you can also expect to feel boujee for the night.

For the first few times, my middle-classiness simply couldn’t fathom how food could cost this much. It felt uncomfortable. 5 years and 14 restaurants later, I’m beginning to understand it better. These experiences now feel very religious for both Prashant and I. We go into it with deep respect for the Chef, their craft and their passion.

As I continue to date my husband through this highly seductive series of Michelin-star experiences, it only makes sense that I have a gameplan. You can’t be careless going into this meal — the prep only adds to your ability to respect the food on the table. Here are some key parts of my strategy to eat a 2,000 calorie meal at a fine-dining place.

Dress the part

What do you wear to a restaurant where you will part with ~$500 or more in a single dinner? I thought my formal date-best was the best option. I wore a nice sexy date dress my first time. It turns out that that is not the best. You don’t want to be cold or worried about your un-sexy back posture when you’re sitting at a table for three hours. I looked like I was trying too hard or trying to go clubbing. I swapped that with an understated jacket and jeans the next time. Unfortunately, I had to unbutton those denims at Course 5 and cover my naked bulging stomach with the dinner napkin. I did this another few times before giving up on fitted pants of any kind. The first lesson in eating like a pig is to be comfortable at the waist-line. Jackets are great to cover up any un-zipping that needs to happen, mom jeans and loose dresses are great overall. Ditch any kind of belts unless they loosen significantly.

Eat for three

This brings me to my next point. The attire is critical because you will most likely be doing a tasting menu (or a chef’s menu). You will typically end up eating an incremental 1–2 meals in that dinner alone. I hadn’t fully grasped this until I realized that the emotion to throw up is a really strong one after such dinner. Don’t get me wrong, the food was great, but my stomach just couldn’t stomach it. No amount of shatapavalis helped. How could it? A 15-min walk (longest it takes to walk 100 steps) typically burns 15–50 calories. That doesn’t cause even a laughable dent in your Michelin star studded meal. Ladies and gentlemen, the only way to tackle this meal is going to be one with abstinence in it. If you abstain from consuming calories in the day, chances are, you should be fine (with slight acidity for all 30year olds and older) by the time you’re headed for dinner. I now usually only have a coffee or a tiny snack before the Michelin Meal. I also get in an aggressive workout before I go. I will be eating for three after all.

Take a complement

No, I did not misspell that. I really do mean a complement. If you have a small or moody appetite, it helps to go with someone who complements your appetite. Mine is a guy with a voracious appetite who will literally eat anything I can’t. That’s how he completes me. And that’s also how we contribute to the world’s food wastage goals. He eats questionable things, including everything raw with great enthusiasm. I have to say, I really did find the perfect one for me. It gives me an opportunity to let go of some half-eaten courses without disrespecting the Chef while keeping two stomachs happy. Having said that, I would also encourage you to do this alone — if there was ever an experience suited for the solo eater, it is this one. The dinner runs on auto-pilot and there is enough drama on the table to keep you and your tongue occupied.

Avoid the frills

This is a very personal call. Tasting menus are exciting, and they often offer you the option to add a wine-pairing or to upgrade your meat to an A5 Wagyu. My first thought going into it was — this is a rare experience, so let me go all out. My wine was perfectly paired with every course. However, after 4 courses I was very drunk and unable to appreciate the food. I was also unable to keep up with the pairing, which means, I drank bottoms-up consecutively in a bid to keep my wine glasses perfectly paired with each course. Now, you don’t need to do this. But after two glasses of delicious wine, your logic often fails you. It really did seem like a good idea at the time. On a separate occasion, I upgraded my steak course to the A5. This adds significantly to the overall calorie count — which means — it compounded my need to throw up later. I’ve also realized that the A5 deserves its own space, its own meal. So I skip both these options. A third option I’m currently testing is the coffee or dessert wine they offer you with your dessert. Happy to report, wine likes me better than coffee after that meal.

Break when needed

If you’re breaking bread with somebody for three hours, chances are you will need a break. Maybe you need a break from your compadre, or maybe you need to break wind. Or maybe you just need to lighten the load (thank you Serena W). Either way, you can step away, you should step away. It is perfectly acceptable to take a break in your meal and go snoop around in the washroom. I find washrooms at such restaurants both exciting and relaxing. Sometimes they have a cool heated music-enabled talking potty seat, sometimes they have interiors that feel like you’re in Kris Jenner’s home (for those who don’t follow The Kardashians, her home is the epitome of boujee). Sometimes I step away to use the restroom even if I don’t need to go. It gives me an opportunity to take photos of some breathtaking interiors.

Let yourself loose

Literally and metaphorically. Now, I take a lot of photos when I’m having a good time — I take photos of the food, and of the expression on my husband’s face when he’s wolfing down some of this food. I take videos of the sounds we make while eating — they’re akin to the ones we make in bed. It is that good. I do this shamelessly and I’ve realized that it is all right. The staff is usually very welcoming and understands that this is not an ‘everyday’ meal. It is special. Having said that, it also doesn’t matter how you keep your forks and spoons or how you pretend to taste the wine. You aren’t expected to know everything, you’re only expected to have a good time. So do that. Unbutton those pants discreetly and swish that red vino in your mouth until it stains your teeth. Forget that spoon and chug the broth bowl as if it were a mug. No one cares. Everyone there, including you, is there for the food first. Sometimes, Prashant and I focus so much on enjoying the meal that we agree to discontinue all talks for certain courses in the meal. Only a man sits with the food put before him.

Accept help

You’re likely in your thirties by the time you’re able to afford this meal. You’re also likely to be facing some gastro-intestinal complexities by the time you hit thirty. You can’t drink like you used to. You can’t eat like you used to. Life is nothing but consequences. So I rely heavily on external aids to ensure my stomach can get through the night. Husband and I put together a “survival” kit at our bedside once we get home. It consists of at least a gallon (~1 liter) of water each, two Pepto Bismol each, a hydration pack (Electral / Liquid IV) if required, one dose of Activated You (our greens supplement, in case the meal hasn’t been fiber-rich), and a Sleeping Tea to avoid waking up to delayed meat sweats. This works for us. There’s no shame in admitting it either. Pro tip — use separate blankets after a heavy meal, your sex life thanks you.

I’m still learning. This has been an incredibly fulfilling and filling journey which wouldn’t have been possible if it were not for my husband. As a couple, somewhere along the way we recognized a shared love for food as an experience. We decided to prioritize this (by probably trading off having children or buying assets). These meals have given me the ability to eat like a horse and to eat many different things. To me, it’s a front-row seat to an extremely alluring combination of innovative palettes and textures with thoughtfully timed drama. This is my very own Broadway musical.

*Husband later let me know that the average two-star experience costed us ~$400 a head.

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Aishwarya Tipnis

Marketer | Ex-entrepreneur | Vocalist on down-days. Writes: Personal nuggets w insights that hopefully put a smile on your face.