A Letter to Ma

Hey, Ma:

I woke up this morning thinking about you and how much you mean to my life. I thank God so much for you, Ma. I know I would not have been able to pursue my dreams — or even see them — I would not have been able to love so freely and purely if you had not been there for me.

Ma, you showed me what true love is, what God-like love feels like, by loving me unconditionally and with such fierce strength. You have always been the most important love in my life. I don’t know what I would be without your caring and your teaching and your listening and your nurturing — and your being bossy!

Growing up, I just knew that you would always be there for me. I would look at my friends and see that they didn’t have that same support. I saw how hard it was for them not to have a mother who could care the way you did. I knew then it was you who gave me a chance. I love getting to pray with you, Ma. Thank you so much for making me go to church, even when I tried to get out of it. Thank you for being my mother before you became my best friend.

I have always felt loved, Ma, and if you know it or not, that has made me a better person and a better man, a man who can love. Because you loved me, I was able to love myself, and because I can love myself, I can love others. I know I wouldn’t be doing the things I am doing if you hadn’t given me that foundation. You showed me strength and sacrifice and caring and hard work. You showed me hustle.

I know you tried to get me to appreciate things earlier on that I didn’t get until late — and I do wish you had taught me how to cook! But just learning from you to care for others has been the most important lesson in my life.

Lately I’ve been stepping out, saying I gotta make my own decisions. “Ma, stay out of this one!” I have to live my life with all its ups and downs. I know you want the best for me. I know you try to keep your hold on me because you love me so much and don’t want to see me hurt. But, Ma, I have to experience life to become the child of God that He wants me to be, to become the man I want and need to be.

I will make more mistakes on my own than I would if I followed your every word, but know that God has blessed me with a supreme mama. You have taught me to love wholeheartedly, to think beyond limits, to make others better, to up my father game, to handle my money, to give to others, to enjoy life, to seek God, to be still, to have faith, to be joyful even in the pain, and to let my leadership radiate.

Yeah, Ma, I know that sometimes you haven’t agreed with me if I’m giving some money to one of my guys or splurging on my girl. But what’s funny is that I learned that giving spirit from you. You know I’m not going to let anyone take advantage of me. I still remember that day you told me that God put us here to help others. “That’s our purpose,” you said. I needed to hear that because I can get so caught up in my work and in my goals.

Even when we don’t agree, I know you want what’s best for me. I’m growing up, Ma. I am a child of God, but I am a man, and I want you to know that if it’s one gift I thank God for most, it is you. You have been the beginning to me sharing my gifts. And you have helped me develop into a gift giver who can love life and love myself and be in love with others.

I know you always tell me you want me to be with the right woman. When you’re gone, you want to know that I will have someone to care for me, someone to be there to share my life. Well, Ma, no one will replace my mama, but know I will choose wisely and the woman I marry will undoubtedly have some of the beautiful things I see in you.

Know this: I am a man, and I will be wonderful in a relationship, and I will be a great father, and I will fulfill my purpose on this earth doing what God wants me to do. I thank you for holding me up to take the first steps on my path and I know you will always be there watching, loving, and praying as I walk it.

I love you, Ma.