Every year for the last few years, I have sat by myself in the middle of the night and reflected on life for me so far.
This year, I’ve been in this inactive hibernation stage for weeks now and I almost didn’t. So this won’t be full of puns or fun alliteration. I’m only documenting. Here’s a brief summary:
I have been nursing a lot of discontent over the last couple of years. To start with, I think it took me a bit too long to recover from 2020: COVID, the lockdown, the first ASUU strike that ever affected me, and then graduating a year late due to said strike and so missing law school applications for that year. And then missing a second year of applications. For someone who makes meticulous plans and takes pride in things going according to plan, it was devastating.
I think I let that one source of disappointment overshadow everything else, so I had very low expectations for 2023.
You get the idea, I wasn’t having the time of my life.
My UONGOZI Essay
Very early this year, I spent weeks writing the most measured 750 words I had ever written.
And then when I submitted it:
Those 750 words won me an extremely competitive international essay competition on a subject I truly care about — on my 2nd attempt in 3 years.
I’ve posted about it here and reposted it here so I won’t harp on the point again. That Ghana trip almost doesn’t feel like a part of my real life sometimes, but it’s one of those big things that I’ll always be incredibly proud of.
In my plans, my life had been carefully laid out. I’d finish uni at 21, then attend law school right after and then spend the year for NYSC at some top-tier law firm, laying the foundation for a high-flying corporate law career.
Instead, I am 23 and I just attended my convocation ceremony 3 months ago; which reminds me of a point I think often about and should probably find time to write about. [I am immensely grateful for the experiences that my public university afforded me. I paid very little for a relatively high quality of education and I have no doubts that I can compete with anybody anywhere in the world. But public education in Nigeria has a long way to go. There are still so many gaps in the system that excellence is often a consequence of privilege and personal effort — becoming competitive happens despite the school and not because of it. And because of these gaps, we lose so many opportunities needlessly. I’ll just say now that Nigerian schools need to do better by their students.]
Anyway, yeah, I technically just finished university. As of two weeks ago, I completed my National service which was…an experience. I went to the NYSC camp in January after an impressive amount of tears, and then I served (and I really served!) at the National Human Rights Commission in Abuja.
I usually scoff at suggestions to put *your* head down and learn, regardless of the quality of the pay, at the beginning of *your* (one’s?) career. But it is valid advice if you’re privileged enough to take it. Being the only corps member in the Executive Secretary’s office was the learning experience I didn’t know I needed. I picked up something new every day. About the development sector, government, international law, human rights, human nature, project financing... So so much. I’ll likely refer to the blue notebook I filled up this year for years to come.
I’ll finally be attending law school next year and hopefully completing it at 25. Not quite what I had in mind 3–4 years ago, but I’m pretty satisfied.
If there’s one thing I’ve internalised this year, it’s the fact of how little control I/we have over our lives.
At a point, while I despaired, I stumbled on some posts that I now can’t find in the QuranReflect app, which defines my current philosophy.
When I get in my own head (as we do), it’s a good thing to remember.
I have a long list of things to be grateful for. Just a few:
- I learned to drive a few months ago, which frankly has changed my life.
- I have a diverse group of lifelong friends that I know I can always count on.
- The fun job I got at a bookstore in 2022 when I was looking for something different has opened me up to so many beautiful brilliant people who have created the safest space for each other. My bookclub is the one social obligation I don’t even moan about leaving my house over and I’m very thankful for that.
- I have just about two years of post-school work experience where I’d ordinarily have none, where I’ve gained the craziest variety of skills. More importantly, it’s given me ammunition to fight the mean voice in my head who thinks she knows who I am. After my year at the NHRC, I know that there is no way I’m truly bad with resilience or consistency. And everyone who met me at the bookstore would fight you (and me too) if we claimed that I have bad social skills.
- I might be a teeny bit lazy sometimes, but I’m a great writer.
- I have a capacity for great love.
- Oh! My final undergrad thesis (linked here) was on SDG 16 (Peace, Justice and Strong Institutions). It was, in a way, a passion project. I spent a ridiculous amount of time getting it perfect and I got an A on it! Pretty proud of that too.
A thought on the future:
I’ve done a lot of things over the last 5 or so years that make it difficult for me to fit into a box and build a professional brand. But this year brought me some clarity. The common thread has always been a passion for finding solutions. I emerge from every space I enter with a list of concerns (You should see the loooong list of essay topics I hope I’ll find time to do justice to from just my first month at the NHRC).
I’m almost completely certain that in the future, I will be the person who just always finds out why things don’t work so I can make them work.
One of the trickiest problems I think about, perhaps amplified by my place of work in the last year, is that the consequences for being ‘not rich and privileged’ in Nigeria are simply too dire. Poverty is very ugly and our attempts at welfare to mitigate its effects are poor. My ‘thing’ is likely going to be figuring out wealth and welfare for Nigerians and Africans.
Conclusion-ish?
I’m just thankful for life, honestly.
Currently reminding myself to attach my faith to my dreams because God has so much more in store for me, and now reminding you too.
This is just the beginning. Cheers to more.
Actually ending with photos of my favourite sunrise from February. I was in camp (going through a lot) and these brought me a whole lot of joy.
And this one of the hotel cat that kept me company while I enjoyed a 3 am cup of tea with cake in Accra.
