#MeToo — I APOLOGISE

Photo by Mihai Surdu on Unsplash

I am guilty. The more I read about Harvey Wenstein, the more I realize - I am Harvey Wenstein, mentally. Power may corrupt. But the converse is true too. A corrupt mind seeks power to control and to silence.

I may not have done anything culpable yet, but the seeds of sexual impropriety as a means to establish gender hierarchy are already sown. By the conversations on female anatomy that I choose to be a party to, by idolizing predators- Hugh Hefner for instance, by the habits I choose to be enslaved to, by the fantasies I cherish, by the unnecessary friendships I make and the abominable chats that follow.

Professional success not as a means to a better life and self-image, but as a tool to silence the vulnerable, is that what I seek? For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. What a wretched man I am! Deliver me, dear Lord!

To the women who are taking the courage to speak out against specific acts of sexual impropriety done to them — I do not empathize because I simply cannot. I APOLOGISE.