I think the disconnect happens when the parent is neurotypical.

This is just anecdotal evidence but my mother is NT and even today, I have to really explicitly explain my sensory sensitivities to her. She never understood it when I was little and thought it was all in my head. She tells me she didn’t know how to connect with me and nothing she tried worked. She is not at all a ‘refrigerator mother’ but growing up, I always felt she didn’t ‘get’ me and I felt neglected. She and my younger brother always got along very well, though.

On the other hand, even though I was undiagnosed when my son was born, I instinctively knew what he needed and accommodated his needs without really knowing that’s what I was doing. Socially, he does much better than I do. Of course, this could all just be his personality but I also sometimes wonder if I inadvertently taught him to mask, because I was a heavy masker when he was a baby.

Thank you for sharing this article. Gave me a lot to think about!