A moment of silence for the person you were told that you are…
Parents have the best intentions.
From day 1 in life, everybody that consists our close family environment works continuously and without realising it, for one purpose:To transform you into something different than the magical creature you were born.
Besides the care for feeding and dressing me, inescapably my protectors, are “wearing” to me and ideas, approaches in life,attitudes, fears and personal theories like if they wear me clothes!
I am not going to blame my parents.
I have enough material to blame myself after four years of motherhood.
An excuse could be that I am following a pattern I can ‘t escape, and now it can be traced in my DNA cells…:
It is called “the Greek mother effect”!
And for those who ignore, is the type of mother who “predicts” all facts before they actually happen!
- “you are going to get cold”
- “you are going to sweat
- “don’t do that!”
- “Do that !”
… you get the picture?
Let’s talk about my …”crimes”:
This is a photo of my kid playing with the mud…
To be precise, this is the approach of his parents of “playing with the mud” game as they prefer to see it…
Everything is tidy! I think he doesn’t t touch the dirt at all.We have bought a sack of soil — in order to be clean of cats and dogs poopies — and placed it in an oriented square pan.
It’s like if I have put a sign and said: ” You are permitted to play here.”-“Only here” … and “you can play like this”…!
If this is not the direct way to snip the wings of fantasy and freedom, then what is!
And I am moving forward …
He receives a present, and I expect from him to say “thank you” or that “he likes it” … to show friends and family,that I have taught my kid to be polite and with good manners. — even if he is only four and receives a T-shirt instead of a toy that would prefer! —
I am learning this beautiful soul how to lie for the first time!
And there is more my boy..
Later on, you will have to go to school, wake up at a specific time every day, and teachers are going to measure your achievements and compare you with those of the other children.
The less noise you will make, the more the teachers will like you.
Myself included I will tell you to behave as I would like and I will insist that you should “do your homework”. I will threaten you to keep your voice down.
You are not expected to be angry, violent, or act madly, mostly because, I, as your mother, I cannot handle it!
I cannot express my anger easily!
You see, I ‘ve been doing this all my life and it is so difficult to do the opposite now.
The years will pass on, and you, my “good” boy will become another boring adult, living the lifestyle of fear of his death and his upcoming future.
And one day hopefully you will come across this phrase of Friedrich Nietzche:
“Become who you are “
and you are going to write it on a piece of paper, put it on the fridge door and won’t avoid looking at it every morning when you will be eating your cereals.
You ‘ll check it before you go to work and when you ‘ll be coming back.
You will read it at nights when you will have no sleep, and even in your dreams, you will consider the meaning of those four words.
“BECOME WHO YOU ARE”
You will probably find it too simple and strange at the start.
The verb “become” sounds like the effort you use to accomplish something. But, “who you are ” sounds inappropriate following the word “become”.
“How am I supposed to become …something that I am already? “…will spin around your mind… as it has done and in mine for years.
Fifteen years to be precise. That was the time frame, since I first came across this phrase. I became obsessed with it and have spent hours thinking about it.
As a survivor from four decades in my life, after I have
– killed the dragons of family dramas,
– tortured myself in the seek of true romantic love,
– collected my pieces after four attempts for becoming a mother &
– survived from working 20 yrs in a job that the stress levels made me feel like a completely consumable human accessory…
I can admit that I have found a strength I never knew I possessed.
My unstoppable need for creativity was always there,
both my shelter and my curse…
Sometimes I wished I never had this inner pressure…
It was coming on the surface all the time, pushing me to CREATE things!
An immense need to get out and leave me to feel exhausted after painting big murals in my or at friends’ houses -just for the joy of it!
Or colouring with sea scenes a huge tank of oil at the back yard… Then trying new techniques and making tiny details on my windows like if it was stained glass…
Cutting my hands with little pieces of glass stones, while making mosaic tables because, I didn t have the patience to look for gloves…
Where did my life choices lead me?
Could I have done differently?
What I was trying to become if I was already??
Why am I looking for something to accomplish all the time?
Studies, Works, Relationships, personal goals…always running after something.
I don t want to “become” a painter any more. Simply because I am a painter !! I have always been!
You see, I never stop thinking about painting:
- Colour combinations come in my head before I fall asleep.
- I have wished my fingers were filled with colours so I could paint directly on the canvas!
- I even dream that the wheels of my car were filled with color and I paint on the road as I drive…( — No I am not a drunk Mr Police-man, I was just making an imaginary painting with my wheels…!)
What do you want to become?
Maybe you are already!
Maybe you do not need to try at all.
What if you forget everything you were told about you?
About what is “successful living” and what you are supposed to have in order to be outstanding?
Maybe you should fall in love with your genius before you decide to start a new race for a new goal.
Maybe the destination is simply to be present in your own body!
Feel where you are right now!
Embrace what you are already!
What you were born with!
I ‘ll share only one advise with my son :
Remember who you were born … my boy! You are all the roles and all the big heroes you play in your games!
I feel that I will never stop thinking about this phrase and deriving new meanings.
Of course, this post is my personal reading of this famous philosophical quote and one is free to give it another value.
You are invited to adopt this phrase!
Share with me , what makes you feel, below at the comments area.
P.S And a little something for you to keep as you go:
free download MY ARTWORK for your personal (fridge) philosophy board!