Why relationships BLOW
I know what you’re thinking. “You’re seventeen years old you don’t know what your taking about.” Hear me out a little you may be surprised. I’m not saying you should be single for the rest of your life. Relationships at very important to have in life. They help you grow & become a better person. That being said for the majority of this article, post or whatever you call it I’m going to be discussing what I refer to as “goals” relationships. Which are VERY easy to fall into.
The way we go about dating these days isn’t about mutual respect. It’s about validation, ownership & social media. We live in a “goals” era where we have been spoon fed the idea of two people being together & their lives are perfect. Their always in love & always happy. But no one ever talks about what when things aren’t Instagram & VSCO worthy. It’s important to remember that anything posted on social media are a part of the highlight reel in someone’s life. Not the behind the scenes reality: when things aren’t glamorous & perfect all the time.
We also live in the what I like to call “ship” world. Typically when the term “ship” is used in relation to relationships it’s used to describe two people who are ideally meant for one another. Their dynamic between them is so incising we want nothing more than to see them together. We idolize that couple, which is very unhealthy & can’t give you a really messed up view on what a relationship is supposed to be. With vivid sex scenes on TV being normal at this point we become numb to what we are watching & what we are subconsciously processing. We see passionate scenes & think that’s what we are supposed to do in a relationship & to perform like we are getting paid for it as we see on the screens. Every relationship should be unique & not based off of something you have seen on a screen.
One major flaw in dating culture is as basic as the grammar that we use to describe our relationship with our partners. We say things such as “he’s mine” & “I’m hers” as if we own that person or belong to someone else. We are putting our significant other someone we are supposed to care about in the same category as a wallet, car or hair tie. Something we possess & own. That means we begin to look at them as something that needs to please us & do what we want. The only person we should belong to is Christ & Christ alone.
A lot of us jump into relationships because we’re insecure with ourselves or were just straight up thirsty for love. Let me tell you no one is going to love you more than the person who died on the cross for you before you were even born. You and your potential partner should not be two halves of a whole. You should be one person who’s missing link is found in our savior. You need to be complete in your faith before thinking about adding another person into the mix. This isn’t to say that someone else can’t make your experiences in life better but how can you know what you want to experience in life if you don’t take the time to validate yourself.
Technology plays a huge part into relationships today. We see people were dating every hour of the day on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat: whatever. Anywhere, all the time EVERY DAY. We start to develop a weird thought processes to where when the person we are wanting is paying attention to something other than us, they must hate us. Since they’re in their phone & not talking to me: they hate me, they’re ignoring me & I must not matter at all to them. Every single person on any kind of social media has had a moment where they’re like “oh ok he can be on Twitter but not text me back.” Don’t deny it because we’ve all done it. It’s not your fault it’s our culture that we live in. What’s important is to realize it & not mimic it. You don’t need to be in constant contact at all hours of the day. Leave a bit of mystery in the mix what are you ever going to talk about if you are in constant contact? What stories will you share if you aren’t experiencing life by being glued to your phone having to report to this person. You don’t need to know what’s going on, you know what’s going on all the time. You know what they’re eating, you know who they’re with & what they’re doing just by checking their online profiles.
