The Daunting Task Of Being Your Own BFF
I haven’t been single since 2001 and have learned a great deal since then and now. I’ve learned about another person in their more bare form, physically and emotionally. I’ve learned about myself and how I become from the positive sense to exploring some of the darkest sides of myself. I’ve learned how to pick battles and I’ve learned how even being petty makes me feel better too. I’ve learned how hurting someone else doesn’t make me feel better. I’ve learned how incredibly happy making someone else happy makes me feel. I’ve learned how to cut out a piece for myself relationships too. I’m still learning…. learn till the day I die.
Most of this information has been procured from a shit load of trial and shit load of error. Subconsciously, I have trouble being alone and maybe some others will say and maybe myself… may take that as needing someone else to validate who I am, and that I am of worth.
In today’s world, a partner sometimes isn’t enough either, now we are faced with the need for validation of friends and strangers alike from social media.
Occasionally, I need to shut it all down and learn to just look to myself to answers. Some times I’m searching up and down my inbox and all over social media for an interaction of worth, yet my grandmother sits alone in her apartment after 7 pm everyday, and I could be learning about who I really am and my ancestors and my history.
I’ll take on this singularity as my responsibility but part of it is our environment — It’s part of our culture, whether I am conscious of it or not, I this is who am I am this is how I function. I can pretend its not true or learn from it.