SOUNDING OFF
Today, I guess, I feel especially sad. Or maybe I’m just mad. I don’t know. I need to get out of my head, so I can let it go. I don’t want to feel like this. It’s a beautiful day.
I rarely ~ almost never ~ ask people to help me. With anything. I’m very self-sufficient. I always knew who I wanted to be, and I am that person. Among other things, I rescue dogs, especially bad ones. By bad I mean dogs that are very old, injured, deformed, abandoned, disabled or in need of extensive medical care. For as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to those dogs. I have 16 of them: currently way, way more than I have ever had, and way more than I probably should. But I have the room, and a really big heart.
Yesterday, my newest rescue Peanut, a 20-lb. Chihuahua (abandoned when his owner went to prison and no one would take the dog) had to have its one remaining eye removed. Glaucoma. I had no choice; Peanut was suffering from pain and pressure in his head.
The procedure ended up costing me twice what I anticipated. Twice the estimate, in fact. Peanut required additional blood work, IV’s, and a growth behind that eye had to be removed and sent for a biopsy. So I reached out on my Facebook page for help. All I asked for was $5 and $10 donations from long-time friends to help me cover the bill. I don’t have thousands of friends on Facebook, just a few hundred. Most are friends who have, for years and years, hit me up with their own causes, mainly their children’s school purchases, cookies, sports sales and other donations, including their own animal rescue causes. I never say no. I participate in auctions almost every week, and raffles. I am always there for everyone else. But very few people show up for me. And that was the case with my request for help with Peanut’s bill.
Yes, I absolutely got some financial help, from the same few people who always step up for me. But these aren’t the people who ask me for help. Not one of the people who answered my plea for financial assistance are the people around me, the ones I would consider my friends. The ones I regularly donate to. The ones who constantly ask me for money for their causes. The ones I never say no to. And not one single member of my family, all of whom have plenty of means to help me, would ever say or do anything to support me. At no point in my 61 year life has a single member of my family given me one dime towards my animal rescue, even though they know it would mean everything to me.
People say they don’t understand why I moved 2,500 miles away from my family, why I live in Idaho with ‘so many dogs’ … so opposite from the way I was raised and predestined to become. I feel like ‘people’ have become so stingy and miserable, so selfish and distracted. I want so badly to be connected to others, but almost no one is willing to connect with me.
I’m losing faith that I’ll ever have one person to truly love again in my life or people to look up to and be proud to call my friends.
