Race, Politics, and an Aversion to Listening

Last night, I watched Van Jones, a Democratic activist and commentator, and Jeffrey Lord, a former Reagan adviser, argue on CNN about Donald Trump, and his refusal to disavow the KKK. And it really bothered me.

Van Jones was absolutely right on every point he raised — and yet, if he really hoped to have any chance of changing Lord’s mind, he only briefly flirted with the core of the problem we’re facing, and the challenge of changing the minds of people like him.

As I listened to Lord argue about the history of the Democratic Party, about its connections to racism and the KKK, and about how liberals try to divide America by race, my first thought was: This guy is totally ignorant and reflects the problems with the GOP. My second thought was: This argument is irrelevant to the issues at hand.

But in each of those thoughts, I too was missing the point.

It’s not about which party makes the bigger issue of race, either today or in the history of those parties, or who’s stoking the flames. It’s about a lack of empathy, a lack of understanding, and most importantly, a lack of willingness to listen.

The truth is that Lord lacks empathy for anyone different than him. And to be clear, empathy is not sympathy. I don’t think Van Jones was asking for sympathy last night for those who have experienced the bigotry or violence of the KKK, and that’s not the core of the problem. The problem, and where the lack of empathy was so clear, is that Lord talked about a vision of America where race doesn’t matter, but did so without regard for the true experience of many Americans today. He asserted it’s part of the liberal agenda to divide by race. But it’s not a strategic liberal choice to divide by race and class, just like it’s not a strategic choice for a person of color to be passed over for a job interview because her name sounds different, to be incarcerated at far higher rates than his white peers, or to be given looks that say “You don’t belong here” just for walking down the street or into a store.

Do I know what that experience feels like? Absolutely not. I’m a 32 year old white man. But empathy begins with listening and trying to understand. Not just hearing, but actually listening. The problem with our politics today is that it begins with immovable assertion and belief, and closes the door to an actual effort to listen — or to understand — before the conversation even starts.

Maybe we’re afraid of what’s different. Maybe we just hate being wrong. Maybe we’re blinded by our own upbringing, experiences, and ways of life.

I don’t know Jeffrey Lord, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s not racist, and that he actually believes his vision for a colorblind America can be achieved if only we all stopped talking about race. It’s just a shame that he doesn’t take his own advice to stop talking, and use that opportunity to really listen.