Human Behind the Screen

Me, the owl’s eyes. Photographed & edited by me.

Bonjour! Wait a minute, I can’t speak French nor I tried to sound like a French. I just can’t moved on yet from the live action “Beauty and the Beast”. If you already watched the movie you’ll remember the scene where Belle interacts with the people in town, and they shout “Bonjour!” to each other as greetings. Anyway, I’m going to write this post (just like any other posts) in English, my second language. This post is intended to introduce myself as the person behind the computer writing her thoughts because she thinks writing could be able to keep her mind organized, although she had no real experience in writing other than tweeting or write caption.

Before anything else, the reason why I chose Medium as the tool to write and not other sites such as Tumblr, WordPress, Blogspot, et cetera, is because Medium is dead simple to use. It has its own app which makes it more simple than the others. Tumblr and WordPress also has their own app but my Tumblr is for aesthetic related posts, and I don’t see a reason to create another Tumblr account, I don’t want to use WordPress either because I’ve made numerous accounts and always ended up forgetting the passwords. With Medium, I can write from my phone, I can read the contents anytime and anywhere, it is user friendly and makes my posts look cool. The community is also great, I can easily find the topics I interested in and I can recommend it to other people. It is like a hybrid of writing platform and social platform.

As I mentioned before, I never actually write. I had a few blogs when I was younger, I started to write on blogspot since I was in middle school, but I wasn’t really into it cause I was a hardcore fangirl and my focus was on movies, songs, celebrities, comics, novels, and internet acquaintances. My old blogspot is what people call cringe-worthy, its full of shameful articles, I don’t even want to read or take a look at it again. Yeah, I’m a bit ashamed of the younger version of myself because I was a real freak and a weird child that nobody wants to befriend with, I admit it. I had friends back then, and I’m grateful my middle school friends tolerated me and treated me like a human. As far as I remember, I’ve only written about my vacation experience with my family, or my Grandma’s birthday, or that one person I hated (lol, God forgive me), or my first and forever crush (I had a crush on this guy since 2008 and I still have a crush on him today, aww how sweet of me).

In here, I plan to try writing something more thorough, comprehensive, something beneficial or interesting. Insha’Allah. Because to write in bio is limited, so here’s the introduction of myself…

I’m a Muslim, a woman in early 20s living in Indonesia, studying Islamic Theology as I am sure that the understanding of our belief is the most important education above all (because how can you believe in something or doing some acts of worship that you have no knowledge about?). Beside that, I also studying Psychology, because I want to obtain an understanding of human nature as I believe that human soul is the element of life which is spread throughout the physical body that demands for connection with supreme being, and I also believe that religion and science are correlated to one another. Nonetheless, I don’t consider myself as a religious person, although I strive to be one.

My hobbies are including surfing through the internet, reading, cooking for myself, create things (DIYs), watching movies, drinking coffee, staying up late, experimenting with makeup, and many more. I know those are boring and cheap hobbies. I spend my money mostly on food and books, not interested in fashion, clothing or traveling. Sometimes I draw or writing calligraphy (p.s: please do not assume I’m good at this). Sometimes I listen to music too, moreover in public, because I don’t want to hear people. To be honest, I’m easily annoyed when I’m in crowded places, due to a lot of reasons, to avoid of getting angry I’d rather not to hear them. When I’m writing, I need to listen to classical instruments (music without voices) to keep my mind steady and focus.

My MBTI type is INTJ. Introverted-Intuition-Thinking-Judging. Ni-Te-Fi-Se. My enneagram is 1w9. My favorite color is black. I have minor Dermatographic Urticaria, the rare condition where you can write on your skin. I have Anthophobia (fear of flowers), that’s why it was not a pleasant experience when some secret admirer sent me a bouquet of flowers, I nearly fainted whenever I approach flowers. But I love roses (only in digital pictures, I don’t have the bravery to touch it in real life), it’s the least scary flower. I have no pet, I dislike cats or dogs, I only like goats in my opinion they’re the cutest animals -but I’ll eat them anyway, sorry vegans- unfortunately they’re so not suitable as house-pet. I have nearsightedness and astigmatism, by that I need glasses or contact lenses, and I’m dead to the world when I don’t use either of the items.

I have some obsessions, such as books. I’m one of those people who love to read and collect books. Some asks why do we need to buy when we can just borrow it or read on e-book or something, what are we going to do with it after we’ve read it? The answer is, first of all, I can re-read it anytime when I want to and I prefer physical books rather than e-books. Second, I feel satisfied looking at my bookshelf when its full of books and I treat them like trophy, it makes me uniquely happy. Third, I can lend it to people and we can talk about the story later which is exciting to have like-minded people around.

The other is I have an obsession with the sky. The sense it gives makes me feel like I’m free and limitless. Because the sky is everywhere and same wherever we are, like I don’t belong to only one place but all the places on earth belong to me. Wherever I’m standing in its still the same sky. It also makes me feel equal to all human beings, that we live on the same planet, that we are just a tiny speck of dust in this universe. It reminds me of how great Allah is, the Creator of this universe, the One who controls everything on the heavens and earth, the One who raises the heavens high yet still balance with equity, the One who gives us life. It reminds me that we are small, we are nothing, yet still arrogant. It reminds me that everything will be perished and real life awaits in the hereafter. I love the sky especially when its dark, full of secrets, mysteries, scary yet calming.

“It is often in the darkest skies we see the brightest stars”.

Ok that was the messiest autobiography. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading!

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Auliā F. Said’s story.