When I first read your rage against your writings, I wanted to respond and couldn’t find the words. I know heartbreak when I see it. There are no words that would help, or even acknowledge, what you’re going through. But now I do have one thing to say. Don’t torture yourself on top of the heartache by invalidating your own pain. What you are experiencing is very real. Age doesn’t matter. Experience doesn’t matter. Nothing you ever went through could make it easier or less. Only time can erode heartbreak and the only thing you can learn from having gone trough it before, is the knowledge that you did survive. This too, shall pass. Meanwhile it’s going to hurt like hell. You might as well own it. It does make sense to anyone who’s ever loved and lost. I know — there’s scientific evidence even — that you will have a lot of rebuilding to do, because your sense of self is shot. But this is for later. It’s okay to be broken for a while.