Confusion and worry
“We often confuse what we wish for with what is” — Neil Gaiman
Confusion is the main cause of worry. Without facts, only one thing really remains… a state of confusion.
In every decision that we have to take in our daily lives, if there are no facts, only interpretations and emotions, the path is slippery. When the path is slippery, doubt surfaces and we end up stressed and confused.
Confusion and worry
Worrying is a feeling that keeps us safe. When things are confusing, when we don’t know the facts and can’t deal with them, our mind perceives danger at any turn. It is no surprise that we end up being scared and feeling threaten. In ancient times, a continuous state of confusion meant only one thing… death.
We live in a time where people at all ages are stressed and anxious. They are constantly worrying about big and small things alike. When asked about the future, the first thing that surfaces immediately is confusion. They don’t know who they are, where they are going and what they stand for.
I believe that in order to fix this we have to go back to basics and teach people to analyze situations and solve problems. To do that, we should start with the facts, always. Analyzing the facts is by far the most important skill a human being can posses. We do it involuntary when we are in a life/death situation, but we forget how to do it when we are stressed.
The basic pattern of problem analysis is made of three steps.
- Get the facts
- Analyse the facts
- Make a decision based on previous facts analysis.
This sounds simple and obvious, but most of the time we don’t do it. We let our emotions run freely and we end up being hurt by our problems, allowing them to harass us and turn our days and nights into hell.
Get the facts
This is important because unless we have the facts, we can’t possible hope to solve a problem in an intelligent manner. We can guess what will happen and try to make a wise decision, but we end up in a state of confusion.
I’ve seen this so many times before when young people are getting their first job… They know little about the company and position they are applying for, just to discover after few months that they are worried and sick of that job. All the trouble and the worries could have been avoided if they would simply get the facts before making the decision… research the company, ask for details, ask for other opinions and only after decide to go forward accepting the position.
Analyse the facts
Getting all the facts in the world won’t make any difference until we analyze them. One way to make sure that we do that is to write the facts down. I always believed that if thoughts, ideas and facts are only in our minds, they are not real… they are only in our mind, in our imagination, without having a tangible representation in the real world.
Just as Charles Kettering the head of research for GM, said “A problem well-stated is half-solved.”
The most powerful tool at our disposal when we have to analyze the facts are questions. After we wrote down all the facts, we should immediately ask these questions.
- Is something to worry about this fact?
- What can I do about this?
- Where should I start?
Answering these questions will give us a rough plan to follow, including the first step, which is the most important one. Doing that will make things clearer and remove confusion.
Make a decision based on previous facts analysis
This last step is a normal evolution of previous ones. Once we have the facts written down and we analyzed them, we should be able to make a decision based on facts not on feelings. Of course our feelings will have an impact on our overall decision, but now the confusion should be cleared.
The thing about decisions is that once we took them and carried them out, we should always take full responsibility for them. Trying to hide the truth, blame it on others or on circumstances is not the right way to go if we want to not worry. Accepting the fact that things might go wrong, but being cleared that the decision was made on facts, is the mature way to approach this situation, and most of the time, the best one.
What is your biggest worry?
What can you do about it?
Your turn
Through this article series called “Minutes Mindset,” I’m helping you build a solid mindset, writing my point of view on different subjects that we meet in our day by day life. I am a strong believer that once we can understand a subject, we can engage with the idea or refuse it altogether. Both ways are helping us grow and develop our own way of seeing the world.
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In the end, everything starts with us, with our mind, our self, and even our stories. We can choose to act or Not.
If your fitness trainer can help you get fit in the gym, I will help you get a fit Mindset. Let’s connect on Medium, Linkedin, Twitter and share some Ideas
