Timidity is dangerous
“Great empires are not maintained by timidity.” ― Tacitus
Timidity is dangerous… it is a display insecurity. Everyone admires the bold, no one really cherish the timid.
In the past few years I had the chance to meet a lot of young people and I had the chance to be surrounded by millennials. One thing that I noticed, in particular, is the fact that there are only few of them that are bold, high risk takers and daring. Those are people that learn fast, but fail a lot.
Timidity is thought
Jack is a young computer science student in his twenties. He recently left the city where he was born to move about 200 km away from his home to study in one of the biggest university in the country. When he moved into the big city, he was alone and was unable to connect with people his age.
I have met Jack while I was teaching one of my personal development courses. He approached me timidly to ask me if I could help him build a better mindset. He wanted to be part of a group, to make friends and be daring enough to ask the girl he liked out for a dinner. I accepted to help him, but I was more curious about why he ended up in this situation in the first place…
I have met with Jack multiple times after that. We discussed about his childhood, how he grew up in a supporting family and he did not miss anything. But there was one thing in particular that intrigued me. Because his mother was overprotective, she thought him to always keep his head down, to not say too much, to take the safe path. She cared about him and she did not want him to suffer, to lose, to risk too much.
The problem with this approach is that it has a devastating side effect in time on the moral of a human being. Because he was thought how to play the safe card, Jack had doubts, he was hesitant. Wanting to protect him, his parents infected him with timidity. Being bold, risking and playing on the edge was something strange and dangerous, out of discussion.
Asking her out
I was really intrigued about helping Jack face his fears. I decided that in order for him to be able to establish relationships with other people his age, he needed to stand up, to learn how to be bold and daring. The first thing that we changed was his clothing.
I did that because I wanted to change the way he saw himself. We got rid of the sports shoes, loose jeans, random messages printed shirts and a really weird hat and opted for something more mature. Then I sent him a daily challenge everyday for 2 weeks. These challenges were designed in such a way that he had to be bold in order to complete them. When these two weeks were done, the final challenge was for him to go and ask the girl he liked out.
“Look Jack, you have come a long way, you did all of these. You successfully completed all the challenges. Now, you don’t have to think, just do it, be bold one more time” I said to him. And he was… he’s now happy in a relationship with that girl he asked out that day.
Even if Jack story was a successful one, not all the stories are like this… we are not used to risk it all, we are thought to keep our heads down, to sit in our place and ask for permission.
Maybe that time has passed… maybe our time has come.
What was the last bold thing that you did?
How much do you want to improve your mindset? Is it a little, or a lot?
Your turn
Through this article series called “3 Minutes a day for a stronger Mindset” I’m helping you build a solid mindset, writing my point of view on different subjects that we meet in our day by day life. I am a strong believer that once we can understand a subject, we can engage with the idea or refuse it all together. Both ways are helping us grow and develop our own way of seeing the world.
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In the end everything starts with us, with our mind, our self and even our stories. We can chose to act or Not. If your fitness trainer can help you get fit in the gym, I will help you get a fit Mindset. Let’s connect on Medium, Linkedin, Twitter and share some Ideas.
