Recently, Netflix released a 8 part docu series called The Last Dance. If you’ve seen it, you might enjoy this story of how I met Dennis Rodman.

It’s 2013. I move to London in August, and go out a lot. I don’t have money. I use a spreadsheet for all my expenses that I adhere to strictly to make it to my next pay. I work retail, do some modelling and intern. I turn 18 in the end of September but tell people I’m 19 like that one year makes a big difference. A lot of venues didn’t check IDs…

Do you know what the problem with Brunswick Street is?
Si asks while we are waiting for coffees on Brunswick street.
It’s too gentrified. We’ll never be able to buy around here. And it makes me sick that we’ve been pushed out of our own neighborhood.
Yeah, that really sucks, I say, while paying $12 for two coffees.
Although I did buy this great book about budgeting recently. It’s all about getting on the property ladder, and written by a millennial.
You can’t budget your way into intergenerational wealth, sis, and that’s the tea, I say, pushing open the door with one foot while…

Did you see that the PM just announced that it is illegal to congregate in groups larger than two?

Yeah, and my first though was, what a horrible time to be a trupple.

This was one of the frequent group FaceTime / zoom / house party chats that seemingly never ended as one person would leave just for another to join. In some way I was catching up with more people while inside my house than I had been when I was able to leave.

Are any of you hoes dating right now?

No way, just leading people on online…

A message from an unknown number pops up on my screen.

Hey, just checking in on how you’re doing, if you need anything delivered at all let me know- just know there’s always room at mine for you xx

Omg. He’s texted me. Again.

My housemates and I are sitting around our coffee table, playing cards against humanity while drinking wine. Luckily bottle shops were deemed an essential service and remained open in the lockdown.

What’s he say?

I read the message out to them, and we laugh.

Anyone else get a text from their ex? I ask.

Ugh I…

We’re in the line at the supermarket, face masks and gloves and beanies disguising most of our faces. Some have gone as far as wearing protective goggles.

Do you think that guy is hot? My housemate asks while vaguely pointing to one of the supermarket staff with his chin.

No clue, really can’t see much of him.

I think I can tell he’s a hottie. Those plastic gloves look large af too.

How can you think about dick in times like these?

It’s all I can think about.

The line slowly moves. Each individual has an allocated ration of essentials…

I see sentiments like “You can’t say anything anymore these days” more and more online, I decided to touch on this subject.

Firstly, you can say whatever you want, and reach more people than ever before. Which is awesome for comedians, since we’re now able to grow our audiences around the globe without ever playing a show in place your audience lives in.
This also means there’s more people who can reply to whatever you put out there- whether it’s a tweet, post, video, or article. So instead of bombing with your edgy takes in front of a few people…

Wyd? I message you after I log out of my virtual workplace.
Not much, you? She replies in seconds because there are no other distractions now that everyone is pretty much online 24/7.
We go back and forth for a bit, discussing our pretty uneventful days.
I go to the bathroom, carefully counting the toilet paper squares, now that this once abundant resource has been rationed. After washing my hands for 60 seconds while reciting the “I will not be lectured by this man” speech, I look at my phone again.
I miss you and I’d do anything to see you, the message reads…

my mother and brother

“Where are you from?”
Is a completely normal question you ask when getting to know someone. I answer “Germany” because that’s my nationality. In fact, it’s both my parent’s nationalities. It’s where I was born and raised. German is my first language. I have a German passport. Yet, again and again I get asked again “but where are you really from?” after giving my answer. Maybe they’re not convinced by my answer. Maybe they aren’t yet aware that there are black Germans, Asian Germans, Middle eastern Germans, that Germanys is in fact a very multicultural country. Maybe they’re just curious about…

Aurelia St Clair

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