23 things that only my best friend and I share together

It’s our birthday month. It’s time to celebrate the things we hold so dear to our hearts.

Making a listicle on a friendship that’s 10 years old is limiting, of course. There are far more things we share together that are unique only to us and rather difficult to explain in words. Well, these are the first 23 things that popped out from my head! A lot of them might sound lame, but we don’t care.

Happy birthday, baby beluga. Hope you enjoy reading this:

1. We talk about killing people all the time.

It comes up at least once every time we talk or meet up. Both of us are avid supporters of the concept behind the book ‘Inferno’; we think it’s crucial for the world population to be cut down to half or something. People need to die. There are just too many of them.

2. Actually, we are generally fucking morbid.

If you watch Grey’s, you might remember that Cristina and Meredith are often referred to as twisted sisters. Yep, that’s exactly us. We relish in sharing or expressing particularly dark thoughts and ideas.

3. Speaking of Grey’s, we identify our own friendship to be quite similar to friendships in TV shows and movies a lot. Like A LOT.

Cristina and Meredith from Grey’s Anatomy, Ginny and Luna from Harry Potter, DJ and Kimmy from Full House, Cece and Jess from New Girl, Stiles and Scott from Teen Wolf, Chandler and Ross from Friends, Bridget and Tibby from The Sisterhood Of The Travelling Pants, Cami and Hayley from The Originals and even Serena and Blair from Gossip Girl. Yeah, like I emphasised, a lot.

4. Our taste in things like music, books, fashion, TV shows and movies are heavily influenced by each other.

Quite a number of Spotify collaborative playlists we share. And they are pretty distinctive in nature too. Close to 20 TV shows we both watch. Several of them, forced each other to watch. We exchange a lot of our books to read as well. But we still pursue our own interests… until they also become devoured as interests by the other person. Basically, it’s a never ending process of convergence. It’s inevitable.

Actually, some stuff didn’t require influence. It just so happened that we had both loved them for the longest time. This is a huge part of our bond. Appreciating each other for being able to appreciate the same things together. It makes me smile to myself all the time.

5. Somehow, each of us still manage to exhibit an identity or style unique to each individual.

So similar, yet so contrasting. Despite all the time spent together and influence we have had over each other, we interpret the same things differently. We carve out our own image differently.

6. For example, we have rather different tastes in the guys we usually get attracted to.

Thank god for that. We never had to quarrel over liking the same guy or anything. I mean we’re already past that stage of having crushes, but it’s still comforting to know that it has never happened and never would.

7. We use dialogues from our favourite TV series or films as part of our daily conversations.

Even if they were to be 2-word phrases that may sound incredibly banal, we know it when the other person slips them into Whatsapp interactions, down to the exact tone or voice with which it’s applied.

E.g. “Does it bother you?” and “Eh!” from Full House, “Be well.” from New Girl, “That’s all.”, “By all means, move at a glacial pace.” from The Devil Wears Prada, “Hi…” from Friends, “மறைந்துவிட்டாள்!” from Aathi Parasakthi

8. A lot of the things that make us both laugh super uncontrollably are actually really stupid.

Such things can never be explained. Why certain things are funny to only the two of us. They just are. It’s not even so much of an inside joke, unless it’s a memory of such a moment.

9. It’s completely fine to be bored in each other’s company.

Actually, we’re kinda proud of this. We’re not saying that silence between us is not awkward at all and that we’re comfortable not doing anything together; pfft! That’s nothing, that’s normal. We actually feel bored of each other sometimes, but that’s all right. We don’t get cranky with one another over that.

10. We know exactly the right thing to do or say when the other one’s down or needs some pushing.

It’s automatic. It’s natural. There are hardly thoughts like “What do I say now? What should I do to make her feel better?” We know one another’s deepest, darkest insecurities and precisely what the other person is going through at that moment. We know how to help each other get past such periods. Or we know that sometimes we shouldn’t do anything and wait for those periods to just pass.

11. Ironically, our first impressions of each other were pretty bad.

She used to dislike my rude and weird personality and I used to assume that she’s too quiet and soft spoken to have fun with. It took us about 3 years to act more best-friendy towards each other. I remember the first time I proudly introduced her as my best friend to new acquaintances. My heart swelled with emotion when she said that she liked being called that.

12. We are both present in a lot of our cliques and social circles.

Same secondary school, same JC, same university; so not a very surprising thing. But it’s a lil confusing to keep track sometimes. Oh yeah, and also, so many freaking mutual friends on Facebook.

13. We do crazy stuff together, but not too crazy. We’re generally good girls after all.

When my parents were overseas, we used to secretly take my dad’s car and drive around Singapore in the middle of the night. It was so fun. However, we could have exploited those rare opportunities of total freedom to do real crazy shit, but never did. We didn’t feel the need to.

14. Sadly, we are both only attracted to men way too old for us.

Men, not guys. And celebrities only, of course. As in, it’s normal to go crazy over those wine-like ageing male stars. But the problem is, those almost-old-enough-to-be-our-dads are the only ones we like, or fantasise about. Very few of the younger ones catch our attention. And it sucks that they’re so unattainable, I mean, in terms of age. Sighh. Why are they so goddamn sexy?

15. We compliment each other a lot.

And are the only ones who do so, most of the time. It’s standard to reply “Only you would say stuff like this to me,” to a “You are so beautiful.” It’s rather sweet, because it is so genuine and deep. It feels nice to be appreciated and admired by someone who you love so much.

16. Her clothes are practically mine, and mine hers.

We have this routine every few months or half a year, where we exchange clothes that we’re personally sick of wearing or if the style no longer applies to each of us. We don’t care if we’re majorly judged for this, even by our own families or good friends. It’s just sustainable practice. And we like each other’s tastes a lot. In fact, when we shop, we take this into account and try to avoid buying clothes that are too similar. Why waste money when we can borrow it from each other? Or rather, take it from each other?

17. We have a looooooooong bucket list of things we need to do together.

We’re going to Japan this May! Yay, one that’s finally going to be ticked off. Next on the list, New Orleans. But it’s not only places that we wanna travel to though. Activities or habits that we desire to take up someday inhabit the list too. Like learning the veena. Improving our non existent cooking skills.

18. We have had big dreams, since forever.

We are going to be partners. Not lesbian partners, mind you, but buin-ness (the spelling’s an inside joke) partners. A lot of our early ideas are pretty lame, considering they began springing in secondary school itself. But some of them are taking shape, and we’re going to get there someday soon.

19. It wouldn’t be surprising at all if people had mistaken us for lesbians.

We’re almost always on the same wavelength. We often end up wearing similar colour combinations without planning to and complete each other’s thought processes. We get to sleep next to each other a lot. We sometimes hold hands. We like it when the other person plays with our hair or scratches our head. We find each other having the perfect height for a romantic partner, say if she was the girl and I was the guy.

20. We find it fun to fake-fight in public or in front of uncomfortable acquaintances of ours.

Used to be a thing of the past; often whenever we were bored in MRT rides or something, we would pretend to raise our voices and quarrel bitchily with one another on purpose. Just to give some entertainment to the soulless people travelling in the same commute. We’d always wanted to stage more dramatic fights but we never made it happen so far.

21. When we’re actually fighting for real, we are passive-aggressive people. Actually, are we?

We are still figuring this part out. Our misunderstandings or disputes used to be resolved in a certain way, until quite recently. Maybe we’re growing up and the manner with which we handle our quarrels now are changing.

22. There’s zero ego between us.

We love each other, freely and unconditionally. We do have serious misunderstandings amongst us but the reason why they don’t blow up to be too big is because we both instinctively look out for each other and don’t want more hurt feelings to be caused. This is one of the things that allows me to know for certain in my heart that she’s always going to be my best friend. Open communication, being honest with each other, not talking behind each other’s back and not holding on to grudges or bitter thoughts; we live by those.

23. We are sisters.

Her mum often tells me that I’m also like her daughter. My best friend and I, we share everything together. We are inseparable. We are family, always and forever.