Just turned 22 and I’m already preparing for parenthood
Nope, I’m not married. I mean, not yet.
When? Don’t know. I have dreams of conquering the planet to settle first. Perhaps I shall also do a bit of travelling and adopt a nomad’s life while seeing to that.
Will it even happen at all? Don’t know. I try to be optimistic about it, but let’s face it. It is more than likely it won’t. Today’s world isn’t just conducive enough for marriage.
Do I have enough time? BIGGEST DON’T KNOW. Squandering the gold of my youth is one thing I am adamant not to fall victim for, but other things demand my youth as well. Like reproduction.
When I look toward the horizon, all I see is a hazy blur. And when I look over my shoulder, I see a sandstorm fast approaching me.
When I close my eyes though, I imagine a beautiful oasis waiting beyond the horizon.
What is this oasis?
Being a perfect parent, of course. Didn’t you read the title of this post?
Despite the fact that I do not have children of my own yet, and am rather far from getting to that point, I can’t stop myself from imagining being a parent. Every time my parents do something that I consider a good or poor move, I automatically take a mental note, instructing myself that I should or shouldn’t do the same as a parent, respectively. Slowly, stroke by stroke, I am painting this image of my idea of a perfect parent in my head. And I dream of embodying that image when it is my turn.
Why is it a good thing?
The more I observe and think about it, the more it is hitting me. That I take after my parents a huge deal. For example, I share my father’s sense of being private and his ability to stay calm and neutral, and at the same time, like my mother, I like to express myself through art and word with an energetic zest. Like them, I often am a leader, though in my own style. I mirror their good organisational skills and also their tendency of questioning things that do not seem right. I had some of their poorer attributes as well, like having a predisposed revulsion to certain things or groups of people, or my mother’s penchant for overthinking things and getting affected by her own thoughts.
So, back to the point: Why is it a good thing that I am already dreaming of being the perfect parent at such an early stage?
Obviously, I want the best for my kid. Which translates into, I want to be the best for my kid, because he or/and she are probably going to grow up as a revised version of who I am. Therefore, being a perfect parent requires me to become the best that I want to be.
Good incentive, eh?
I love Lupin. In my opinion, he came the closest to being a father figure to Harry. Lupin had the perfect mixture of having both a responsible, sensible side, and a predilection for a little bit of mischief and rulebreaking. Like how he gave Harry the Mauraders’ Map after resigning from Hogwarts because he no longer was obliged to feel guilty. Or how he guided Neville out of his fear for Snape with good-hearted humour. He had other great characteristics too. His amazing depth of empathy as he shares great advice by drawing from his own knowledge and experience. His intuitiveness and keen sense of perception. His compassion. His ability to believe in his students’ potential and inspire confidence. If anything, I would want to be like Lupin to my kid(s). He is very much like the image that I have painted in my head thus far.
Possible to be a parent without bearing children
Another thing Lupin has taught me is that I can be a parent without having children of my own. I mean, he almost did get a chance to raise his own kid, but too bad, Rowling took a leaf out of George R.R. Martin’s book and killed him off. However, he still played such an important role in Harry’s and so many others’ lives (Neville, Sirius and even Molly).
Likewise, there are already people around you who might need that kind of guidance. Perhaps even at the age of 22. You can be a parent before getting the opportunity of nurturing your own flesh and blood. Let us begin today.
Become the best that you could be, and be that perfect parent to those around you.