on relationships

Austen
Austen
Nov 1 · 3 min read

i have learned the most about who i am from my relationships. there is something so revealing about trusting someone with your dreams, secrets, desires, and heart. it is scary to think that someone could just turn on you, betray you, or use it against you. however, learning to trust people is vital to our everyday life. learning about other people, investing in them, and loving them is such a privilege and gift that i often take for granted.

over the last few years, relationships have really changed my life, taught me so much, and reinforced why I believe love is such a special, important thing. a thing that drives us, often too far, to do things we’d never even imagined possible. love is taking risks, love is supporting someone else, and love is getting supported when you know damn well that you don’t deserve it.

through the multitudes of people i’ve had in my life, i’ve become a firm believer that all people you come in contact with have a special place in that moment in time. life sometimes bounces us from friend to friend always looking to keep us on our toes. people change, seasons change, always looking for our new best friend. we give a whole lot to people we don’t really know. we do things for people that we’ve never done before. we always look back and say why? why did i do that? i would never do something like that. why did i get myself into that situation? i’m not one to do that to myself.

people are meant to come and go. people are meant to drop into your life out of nowhere and then leave as fast as they came. people are meant to leave a lasting impact on our hearts and minds, and some special people are also meant to stay. so to you i ask; why not? have you really spent enough time learning about yourself to know that your actions are something you would never do? or has the opportunity never presented itself to take action in such a way? have you really put yourself in enough situations to know better than to avoid any potential situation like the plague? even if you have spent enough time learning about yourself, i don’t believe regret or remorse are the feelings we should carry.

loving people is in our blood. it’s our human nature. instinct takes over, endorphins and dopamine run rampant, our heart pumps blood throughout our arms and legs. we feel warm, we feel fuzzy, we feel that this one might actually be different, that for once we’re gonna find a winner, and that you can take on the world. we chase this desire of deep, fulfilling, healthy relationships and we invest all of our time into people that we know won’t care when life gets hard and we always tell ourselves that we regret it.

but dammit don’t regret it. you can be sad. you can be angry. you can break something. and you can be heartbroken. those are called emotions. contrary to popular belief, you are allowed to feel those. all i ask is that you don’t regret the experience. don’t regret that it happened. don’t think about what you could have done differently. instead, stop and ask yourself what there is to be learned from the situation, even if all you learned was not to be friends with assholes. life is gonna be a whole lot dimmer if you harden your heart based on your past relationships, and never use those lessons to improve your new ones.

keep on making the choice to love. a little’s enough.

this story and more were originally published on my website austennelson.me please feel free to reach out to me. hope you enjoyed.

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