This is from the perspective of my friend Kaitlyn Payton. We talked at her home in Seattle. We talked about the table she built with some help from her family, along with roots.
Nobody is perfect, but there is a lot of beauty that comes from the effort.
[how did you make the table] In July of 2020, I realized that I wanted to come back to Seattle. I found an apartment that I liked and decided that I wanted to build my own table, something that I could have in my house both now and later. We found some old barn wood that my grandfather used to build the house back in Lubbock.
I created a plan and my dad and I cut the wood and welded the metal legs together. I wanted it to be big enough to host things like Friendsgiving or birthdays. If I ever have kids, I can see myself sitting around the table with them, cooking things or learning to make things.
Once my dad and I built the foundation of the table, I packed my car and drove to Utah and spent a week and a half with my aunt. We took a blowtorch and wood burned the table, and then used epoxy to finish it. It didn’t end up perfect, but that’s okay because it adds quite a bit of character. Honestly, if my house was burning down, I would save the table if I could. I just don’t know if it is possible to move a 300-pound table by myself.
[what was your favorite part to make] The whole thing, it was a very good way to build memories. When I look back at the photos we have from building it, I know I have all of those memories with me. Every grain of the wood was filled with love to a certain degree. On the bottom of the table, my dad and I welded our names into it. And everyone who took a part in building the table signed it with a wood burner, my parents, my aunts, and me.
The table isn’t perfect, but not everything has to be. It’s beautiful and unique, and it reminds me to let things be built how they will be built.
The table is also my roots. The farm is my home. I wasn’t born there or grew up there, but I spent a lot of time there with my grandparents. To have a table built of materials from there is very special. It also encompasses all of the memories I have on the farm. Being far from home, this table holds the memories I have of growing up, building it, and all the people that have gathered around it to share meals.
[what is the importance of roots] They represent a humble beginning, to a certain degree. Granddaddy built the house from the ground up. Being there feels different from being at a random house. I know why it was built, how granny designed it. Home to me also symbolizes the core values you have. When I’m struggling or something is going on, I think about where I came from and root into that. I’m very thankful that I have that ability. To think back to something that was built with so much love and be able to continue that tradition. My parents have the farm now and I hope that one day I can buy it from them or live there.
My roots were very cultivating, cultivating relationships, cultivating love, intentionality, and humility.
[what are some things you do that remind you of your grandparents] Being really intentional about what I place in my house. Everything has meaning or a purpose. I love all the things that are in here. I don’t want it to be too cluttered but they all make me happy and are exciting and fun. Ultimately, being intentional is the core lesson that they taught me.
[what are you trying to be intentional about right now] Giving myself grace. Life is happening and every day is not planned. Additionally, what is planned pretty much never happens. I’m rolling with the punches and enjoying life. And not all the punches are bad, they may hurt a little bit but they are not bad.
Life is so short, and we cannot anticipate what happens. When we leave and seasons change, we can never go back to the way it was before. That’s a good thing and a bad thing.
I find comfort in the fact that life is constantly changing. On bad days we can look back and say, ‘okay this is temporary, it might be a rough few weeks but it will change’. On the other side, you have to be intentional about soaking up the good stuff.
If I leave Seattle, this will be the last season that I’m in the same city as most of my college friends. I’ll visit and keep in touch, but life is going to change. Relationships come and go. This is not the first time that I’ve had to keep in touch with long-distance friends. But it is going to be an adjustment.
I was raised to make a decision, stand behind it, and not waiver. This can be bad because it doesn’t give me the ability to change my mind. I’ve been working on that this season, learning to change my mind and roll with the punches. And to learn that it is okay.
[how do you know when to change your mind] You collect information about your surroundings, how you feel about things, the people that are around you, what is important to you, and where you see yourself. As things changes, the way you feel or want to approach things, changes.
I want to give myself enough time to go through a few emotions over some days or weeks. I may be feeling one way right now, but in a few weeks I might be feeling a different way.
