Dad Explains Seriously for the Effing Last Time How to Load Dishwasher

For seriously the last time ever, James Reddick shows his children a well-arranged dishwasher.

Confronted yet again with a ridiculous misallocation of space in the family dishwasher, concerned dad James Reddick showed his teenage children one more time how to load the trays.

The suburban father of two stressed that the teens needed to pay attention this time, adding that, “Seriously, I am never going to explain this again.”

The seemingly random placement of cereal bowls in the upper tray, which is normally reserved for cups and glasses, has been a recurring issue since at least 2006, when the Reddicks’ oldest child Josh began putting away his own dishes. The misplacement of the bowls, which clearly belong in the lower tray, throws off the ability to maximize use of the dishwasher as a whole, explained the elder Reddick.

“In fairness, this was just a low-level irritant compared to what started in 2009 when we added his sister Susan to the mix,” said Reddick in an interview. “Susan has an almost uncanny ability to straddle huge sections of the lower tray with a single plate or bowl. And her capacity for putting tall drinking glasses in the middle of the upper tray, where they hit the water spreader — well, it’s just mind-blowing.”

During the demonstration, which the elder Reddick has done “like a thousand fricking times already,” he methodically showed that by placing tall glasses on the edges of the upper tray and starting in the corners, one could leave ample space in the middle for small cups and oversized utensils. Following this method, any member of the family could easily load a day’s worth of cups and glasses, “even if you guys bogle 10 glasses a day per usual.”

The lower tray demo included a brief but pointed review of the proper slots for large bowls followed by the stacking order of differently sized plates. Reddick said he would spare them the lecture on never placing cooking pans in the dishwasher since he assumed “even they” could grasp what an inefficient use of space that was.

Throughout the lesson, Reddick cast occasional sidelong glances at his wife, who sat calmly at the kitchen island smiling at something on her smartphone.

Reddick previously accused her, in 2014, of placing measuring cups in the bottom tray, “even though they are clearly the size of normal glasses if you stop and think about it for one second.” On at least three occasions he also found her placing frying pans in the lower tray, in spaces that could accommodate three to five plates.

Tensions between them eased in late 2014 when Mrs. Reddick announced her decision to stop putting “any dishes ever” into the dishwasher.