Triggered Grandparents: Examining The Murderous Rage of Child Custody

In the latest episode of Shill Kill, where I pair a crypto review with a true crime case, I talked about the missing Kansas moms, whose bodies were subsequently found a few weeks after they disappeared on road trip to Oklahoma. They’d been murdered. And it appears as if the whole thing was over one mother’s battle for full control of the kids after her divorce. Thing is… it wasn’t the ex-husband who cut the moms off at the pass, one of whom was there to supervise the visit when picking up the kids in Oklahoma. It was the grandmother of the ex and a couple of her cohorts who murdered both ladies.

[Forever Ted is coming soon — follow me so you get it first!]

Grandparents in the Trenches of Custody Battles

Custody battles are notoriously acrimonious, tearing families apart and leaving emotional scars on everyone involved. But the emotional toll doesn’t stop at parents. Often, grandparents get caught in the crossfire, their love for their grandchildren morphing into a desperate fight for visitation rights or, in extreme cases, full custody.

The Grandparent’s Dilemma:

For grandparents, the situation can be agonizing. They see their grandchildren caught in the middle of a parental tug-of-war, potentially deprived of love and stability. Fear of one parent’s ability to care for the children can push them to seek custody, a decision often fueled by love but fraught with complexity.

Entangled Emotions:

• Grief and Anger: Witnessing a broken relationship between their child and the child’s spouse can be heartbreaking. Anger towards the “unfit” parent is a natural reaction, but it can cloud judgment and make the situation even more volatile.
• Fear and Guilt: Grandparents might worry about their grandchildren’s well-being, leading them to believe they are the only ones who can provide a safe and loving environment. This fear can be compounded by guilt, questioning if they’re doing enough to help their struggling child and grandchildren.
• Entitlement vs. Responsibility: The desire to protect their grandchildren is admirable, but it can sometimes cross a line. Grandparents may feel entitled to a certain level of control or decision-making in their grandchildren’s lives, leading to friction with the biological parents.

When emotions boil over, it can result in rage. Case in point, an attorney representing his son in an on-going custody battle in Las Vegas.

The attorney was the grandfather of the kids in the case he was representing on behalf of his son. On the other side of the table — at a deposition, no less — sat his ex-daughter-in-law and her new husband, who was the other lawyer representing her for full custody. This didn’t end well.

The grandfather pulled out a gun, shooting his son’s former wife and her new husband. He then turned the gun on himself.

The Vegas murder-suicide was around the same time as the missing Kansas moms were making headlines. There have been many other terrible murders like these in the years prior. That said, non was more bloody than what happened in the close-knit community of Piketon.

The Piketon Massacre:

Eight members of a family were massacred because of a child custody battle and an ugly bitterness that existed between to warring families in Piketon, Ohio. This brutal annihilation is probably the most cruel and unusual example of how far grandparents can escalate things when faced with the threat of losing contact with their children’s children.

Finding Solutions, Not Adding Conflict:

Custody battles are messy, and involving grandparents can escalate the situation. However, their love for their grandchildren can also be a powerful force for good. Here’s what grandparents can do to navigate this difficult terrain:

• Prioritize the Children’s Needs: While emotions run high, the focus should always be on what’s best for the grandchildren. Can they maintain healthy relationships with both parents and grandparents?
• Maintain Neutrality: Avoid taking sides in the parental conflict. Offer emotional support to their child but resist demonizing the other parent in front of the grandchildren.
• Seek Legal Guidance: Consulting a lawyer specializing in family law can help grandparents understand their rights, explore custody options, and navigate the legal process without further harming the family dynamic.

The Bottom Line:

Custody battles are a test for every member of the family involved. While their love for their grandchildren is undeniable, grandparents must tread carefully. Their support and stability can be a lifeline for children going through a difficult time, but only if it’s offered within a framework of understanding and respect for the complex parental situation. Remember, the goal should be to heal the family, not tear it further apart.