We’re all different with different needs and different ways of going after things that are important to us. But for many of us, taking care of ourselves is something we want (hopefully that’s all of us!) but we don’t take it seriously enough.

First things first

I’m writing this as a 25-year-old, diagnosed with social anxiety, suffering from bouts of anxiety, almost overweight (according to the NHS calculator) and trying to be better, like I assume you are.

Secondly, health and wellness is a MASSIVE umbrella category. …

Not black and beautiful. Not beautiful for a black person. Beautiful, end of sentence…

Except in our society, that’s not the case. That’s what people say, if confronted, but it’s not what we’re shown day in, day out.

And actions speak louder than words.

My prom photos

When I was 16 and was going to Prom, my cousins and I got professional make-up, hair, and photos done. I looked amazing; they did a great job. My prom photo still hangs in the living room, where I look stunning.

But, when seeing the amateur photos from the night inside the hall, I could see the truth. My face was significantly lighter than the rest of my body… My white-looking face stood out as if I were a ghost in the photos. …

*For those who don’t know, Allyship or being an “ally” isn’t just for the Black Lives Matter movement! We all can and should be allies to other communities, ones we’re not a part of.

For example, myself as a cisgender female being an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. Or as a Mixed (Black and White) non-religious woman being an ally to the Muslim community, especially when they’re faced with horrid terroism and “taking over our country” disgusting racism.*

So, what does being an ally look like? Here are my beliefs…

Calling out people you know on things that sound racist or prejudice. Or acts that seem (or are!) racist. (Don’t keep leaving it to the person of colour to do so; if you’re white yourself, sadly, people may be more likely to listen to you.)

There’s a lot we still don’t know about the history of people of colour. Indigenous peoples. People who laid the foundations of our world, and had their lands and resources stolen from them with brutal murder, oppression and enslavement.

But there is a lot to learn about our world and ourselves in discovering more in our histories. We are ALL affected by these systems and internalised and institutional racism and prejudice against anyone who is not a part of (or at least close to) the Dominant Culture.

*Dominant Culture: cisgender male, straight, white, able-bodied, middle-class.*

It’s in the past

FACT: Unless you are a world-renowned historian who somehow had a great education on ALL world history and perspectives, it is likely that there are a great many gaps in your knowledge about the history behind our institutions and nations! …

I won’t pretend to be an expert on friendship! But I will try to explain that if the terms self-love, self-care, and self-compassion (etc.) don’t resonate with you, then perhaps the term Friendship will sit better with you…

Friends or Friendship is defined as “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.”

How wonderful would it be if we could make friends…with ourselves? To have a bond and affection for and with ourselves?

How? Let’s see some of my ideas…

Get to know yourself

What do you do when you first meet someone? You get to know them! And so, yes, you’ve literally known yourself your whole life, but there’s still so much that you don’t realise about yourself yet. …

The term “Political correctness” makes me think of politics. But it’s not really about politics, is it? It’s about humanity and love and inclusion. Allowing everyone to feel comfortable. To allow everyone to belong; truly belong in their own world and communities.

In her book Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown calls “political correctness” something else; a phrase that I love and want to share with you. She calls it “Inclusive Language”.


For example, a word that I use all the time is “partner“. Partner is inclusive, boyfriend or girlfriend is not. …

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At some point or another, most adults will consider trying to fix or perfect the following:

  • Their hair
  • Skin
  • Body shape
  • Muscle tone/definition
  • Sleep
  • Diet
  • Relationships
  • Productivity
  • Finances
  • Confidence
  • Fitness in general
  • Mental or emotional health
  • And so on

Trying to fix and perfect these things, I think we all can agree, is a pretty difficult task.

What if I told you that there’s one thing that sums up and helps in all these areas? One thing that if you focus on that, you will see results in all areas of your life?

Yes, you guessed it from the title, it’s consumption. …

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I was watching a YouTube video earlier and this phrase was said at the end: “anything can be accomplished with practice and presence.”

And it struck a cord with me because isn’t that just so true? But the problem is, most of us aren’t present in the here and now, and we aren’t willing to put in the practice to get the results we seek.

I was saying to my brother just yesterday how I wish I was multilingual. We watched this video of Nathaniel Drew speaking to his polyglot grandmother, who speaks 5 languages. I was in awe. It’s so beautiful. …

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Answer this question: How would you feel if you never saw anyone like you succeed? If you never saw anyone who looked like you doing what you want to do with your life?

Yeah, a lot of people face this daily.

They don’t see people who look like them doing impressive things…not nearly enough, anyway.

And this is important. This affects what we believe is possible for us…

Here are just some of the things I’ve thought about in my own life:

Actively seeking black or brown yogis and fit women as inspiration

Why does it matter if I’m inspired by Serena Williams, not Reece Witherspoon? Because I don’t look like Reece. …

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Here is a questionnaire to help you realise that Racism very much does exist, even without the very OBVIOUS displays of it with police brutality in America and mass incarceration etc. etc.

(These are very gentle, easy to answer questions. Not aggressive or personal or rude, but an easy way to shine a light on the structural and institutionalised racism that very much still exists in many parts of the world, not just America.)

  1. How many books have you read by a non-white author?
  2. How many books featuring a non-white MAIN character?
  3. How many times have you read a book where the race is only specified for the non-white characters? (spoiler alert, white is assumed to be the norm, that’s why!) …


Author S. R. Crawford

Author, Blogger, Writer, and Advocate. Mental Health and Lifestyle Inspiration in my posts. Mindset and perspective can change lives... https://srcrawford

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