The sad fact that all trans people must realize, is that none of us can understand the burden that…

My personal opinion is that this is why early intervention is so important. Melanie Ann Phillips once said in an essay that trans women were Raised By Wolves. The metaphor, I think, points more to the fact that we did not live our early lives amongst our peers, more than it has to do with howling, though in the case of men, they are encouraged to be more boisterous.

Male violence is also part of growing up among men. Not all males get into fights, but they are part of the rites of passage and even if you choose not to pick one, some other male will take it on himself to get into at least a shoving contest. But men fight differently from women. It’s all about who will back off first. My observation of female fights it's no-holds-barred. Men do not fight that way.

How to transmen get to absorb those lessons? Like me trying to shed the fact no one told me I was cute when I was young, or that it was okay to be pretty, or to flirt with boys, or to hang out with other girls as teens and subteens and learn how to always get my hair to look perfect. It is the same coin, only the flipside.

Men are rough and in-your-face and it is highly important, in my view, for the boy growing up to be exposed to this, even if he comes home with a cut lip and bloody nose . . . or not.

Also, early treatment, possibly with hormone blockers, followed by HRT will help the person grow the right body shape and muscles. Alas for me, that was not what happened in my day, but at least I can be heartened that many will not have to suffer in silence.

And I agree. We did not choose this. God, if I had a pill back then to make it all go away, I would have taken it in a heartbeat. But it is our cross to bear, and so we go forward. At least in my case, undreamed of happiness awaited me despite all the downsides.

As for the feminists who oppose this, I believe it is that they simply cannot comprehend what dysphoria is, like fish swimming in a cis ocean or trying to describe the color blue to someone who has only black and white vision.

The good news is we do not require their understand (though I can hope) nor their permission. (They do not have to live my life.) There seems to be an undercurrent, “Be yourself so long as you are like everybody else.”

Live long and prosper.