“Misaugyny” — The Relationship Between Misogyny and Autism

It dawned on me, one day, that there were no specific words to describe the particular experiences of autistic women. There was no language to represent the silent struggles that I — and many other women — endure each day.

We can talk about the specific struggles of autistic people, and we can talk separately about the struggles of women. But the combination of the two is a unique experience that deserves its own term.

I’ve come to realize the intertwined relationship between neurology and gender norms. It seems that allistic norms dictate the etiquette of female social niceties so intimately in a way that flies under the radar. Allistic women, for the most part, can navigate their lives without really considering how their neurology connects to their gender. For many of them, the two are nearly inseparable, and societal norms affirm their conception of womanhood and identity. But many autistic women face this discrepancy every day — only invisibly.

I feel immense pressure to carefully choose my actions and words every day to fulfill the expectations of womanhood. I am constantly on high alert and masking my differences to comply with norms and not offend others. Not only am I expected to comply with allistic norms but also female social norms, which creates a multiplicative, layered effect. I am supposed to act elegantly, softly, and nicely. I am supposed to keep others comfortable. I am not supposed to be abrasive or stern, and I certainly am not supposed to be a bitch.

These expectations stem largely from patriarchal ideals; however, other women can often be the worst offenders and proponents of these misogynistic and neuronormative attitudes. Complying with these norms undermines my natural instincts, needs, and identity. As an autistic person, I feel completely removed from the traditional, neuronormative conception of womanhood.

Misaugyny is a portmanteau of “misogyny” and “autism.” You may notice that misaugyny and misogyny are pronounced the same way — this is deliberate. The term demonstrates the invisible, unspoken (yet, simultaneously, socially endorsed) struggles that autistic women face every day. The portmanteau demonstrates the intersectional experiences of autistic women and the intertwined relationship between neurology and gender. Gender and autistic masking are united and amplified by their performative natures. Misaugyny also comprises all the myths about women and autism, which pose barriers and delay diagnosis, as well as the social barriers and exclusion that autistic women face with allistic women.

I received some inspiration to coin this term from Moya Bailey’s term “misogynoir.” I acknowledge her ownership of that term and am not trying to appropriate her idea; rather, I considered her method so clever and thought I could coin another word that would help autistic women gain the language to describe their experiences.