(Re)Building

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything substantial. I’ve been heads down, focused on my health, my baby, and the start-up, Dibz (my other, less adorable baby). Life passed quickly this year, and I suddenly realized I’m approaching an anniversary worth pausing for.

I haven’t tried hiding my story, though there’s rarely an appropriate time to bring it up. So I decided to share parts of it here in hopes that it inspires folks to check in with themselves.

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A year ago, I left my full-time gig as Head of Design to take the leap as co-founder of Dibz. I was eight months pregnant, and while the timing was less than ideal, I was excited to trade my HOD title for ✨co-founder. ✨

After a lengthy search, we found a full-time co-founder/CEO. The team was wrapping up our raise, and the stars felt like they were finally aligning. Squarely in the honeymoon phase, I was excited to open up my laptop every morning and tackle interesting challenges. It felt good to flex my creativity and build something ✨new.✨

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Wrapping up an energizing first week, I went for a walk to grab a cup of coffee. It was the same walk I took daily to get fresh air. I waddled (you don’t do much walking at 8 months pregnant) through the same backdrop of streets, homes, and city murmurs.

I approached an intersection and waited for the light to change. The walk signal lit up and I took five or so steps into the street. Suddenly, a metal grate slammed into the left side of my face.

The world stopped.

I woke up in the middle of the street to the sound of screams, struggling to breathe or move. A distracted driver had hit me in his sprinter van; I was pulled under the vehicle and dragged down the block.

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I laid on the pavement. All the things that typically occupied my mind disappeared. Life is funny that way.

I didn’t think about:

• the email I forgot to respond to
• the bigger house we needed
• how the presentation went
• if I “leaned in” enough in a group conversation
• if I was successful enough, smart enough, dressed well enough, cool enough…

The paramedics arrived minutes after I regained consciousness. When I arrived at the hospital they asked me who should be prioritized: me or the baby. I answered and was intubated soon after.

My hospital stay lasted nearly a month as I recovered from several injuries: internal bleeding, collapsed lung, broken ribs, broken ankle, ruptured spleen, broken vertebrae, head trauma…the list goes on. There were lots of decisions to be made in terms direction of care, multiple surgeries, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll leave it at they (doctors + nurses) were able to save me and my baby — Levi, who is now ten months old.

I spent my first moments of motherhood in a wheelchair and later ditched the wheels for a cane. I spent the following months focused on adjusting to motherhood, gaining mobility, physical strength, and getting a business off the ground (a very welcome distraction).

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Fast forward to today: Most folks wouldn’t know about my accident looking at me. In my more positive moments, I’m grateful for the hard reset. Not many get a chance to re-evaluate how they’re living until it’s too late.

I am incredibly lucky to have my health, mobility, and most of all, Levi. I’m so grateful for the folks around me: my partner, friends, neighbors, former co-workers, old bosses, family. Having a supportive community made a world of difference that I can’t express.

We’re still chipping away at Dibz. Check it out if you want to see where I’ve spent some of my time.

You can’t end a story like this without a few parting thoughts:

• People matter. Invest in relationships. Tell folks you care. Show folks you care. Give someone a hug. They’ll be happy you did.
• Bad days are usually not that bad in the grand scheme of things. Feel your feelings and work to zoom out when you can.
• Prioritize moments of happiness each day. You don’t know when your journey might end. Don’t backlog joy.
• Make time for physical activity. Your body and mind need it.
• Decide what really matters to you and try to design your life around it as much as possible. Chances are it’s not status or money. Don’t get too caught up in the race.