Another Dream — The Girl I Admired.

Samantha
Samantha
Jul 27, 2017 · 6 min read

(3rd May 2016)

I had another one of those strange dreams recently.

In the dream I was with a group of people from the church I’ve been attending. We would sometimes do activities together in the dream, and we were out one night doing things. After a while we went back to the church. There was a swimming pool there, and it was decided that we would all swim. I groaned inwardly, as I dislike getting wet and the whole drama of getting changed into a swimming costume. Also, I hadn’t even bought my swimming costume with me, nor a towel.

In real life I cannot swim. But in the dream I could, and as I thought about it some more I started to feel like I wanted to take part after all. We hadn’t been swimming for a long time, and I knew that once I was actually in the water I would find it nice. So I decided to walk back home, get my swimming costume and a towel, and then go back.

As I was leaving, I knew that Satan would most likely attack me to try and prevent me from going swimming. I don’t know why I thought that, but I just knew it would happen. And sure enough, a fierce wind started to blow against me, making it difficult to walk. But I thought about God and how faithful and good he is, and I sang songs to myself about God and his love. I pushed on through the wind, and eventually it died down.

As I was getting closer to home (which, oddly enough, was my parent’s house in the dream), I became aware that a young woman was coming up behind me. I turned to her and said “hello.” She seemed to hesitate for a moment, and then she passed by me and went a bit further. She looked troubled. She was hunched over and her head was down. She trudged along, looking as though the weight of the world was on her shoulders. She had dark hair and looked to be about my age.

As she passed me, she dropped something. I picked it up, and it was a small blade. I realised that she could have stabbed me or slit my throat, and that it might even have been her intention to do so. I felt a mixture of fear and anger. I was also puzzled as to why she had just walked past me rather than carry out her plan. Looking at her though, it was as though she couldn’t be bothered and didn’t even see the point any more. She just didn’t care.

Rather than give in to fear or anger, I went up to her and asked her if she was okay. She wasn’t, and I spoke to her about what was troubling her. I can’t remember what we spoke about, but I listened to her, and she opened up to me and became very animated. I didn’t mention the blade or what she had most likely been intending to do. I just let it go and didn’t bring it up.

I told her that I was a Christian, and she could tell because I had a Bible in my pocket. She asked me, “Where are all the Christians, and where is their faith?”

In the dream I understood what she meant when she asked me where all of the Christians were. She was saying that the Christians were in their nice churches, doing nice things together, while people like her were out there alone, in the dark and the cold, needing help. She was troubled and needed assistance. So where were they? Why weren’t they out there in the world? She was frustrated. I didn’t know what she meant when she asked about their faith though.

I replied that I didn’t know. I told her that I had been with a group of Christians and was about to go swimming, except it didn’t go to plan as I had to go back for my costume. But, I told her, it was good because it meant I had bumped into her.

I asked her if there was anything practical I could do to help, and she replied that I had helped her by being supportive. She was happy simply because I was there. She was happy because I was out there in the harsh world with her, not shut up in a church somewhere. She was happy and amazed because someone had shown concern for her. I hadn’t avoided her out of fear, as she was accustomed to. I had gone right up to her and been friendly to her, and she wasn’t used to that at all.

She told me that she had called to God for help, and that she now believed that he cared for her and would answer her, because he had sent me to her. He had directed things so that I would be there at the right time. She said she knew she would struggle again, but she now knew that God would answer her if she asked him for help. She seemed more hopeful, and her faith and belief in God was strengthened. She went away brighter and more optimistic. She stood up straight, held her head up, and seemed stronger, although I too knew she would struggle and fall back down into darkness at times.

I watched her walk away, and I felt concern and care for her. She had seemed to me like a very complex individual. She was scary, volatile, and intense. She had powerful emotions inside of her. She had so much anger, so much violent, even murderous rage and bitterness. She had so much darkness inside. She was full of despair and fear, and she felt completely alone in the world. She was the outcast, and it made her feel sad, jealous, and angry. She didn’t fit in, she was on her own, and she was angry. Her faith in God was there, but it was fragile.

Yet at the same time, by the end of our conversation there had been a dramatic shift. She was hopeful, optimistic, and brighter. There was light shining out of her. She was smiling at me, and although I knew the darkness would pull her down at times and she would have to do battle with it, I also knew that the light would be there. I had an image of her kneeling with her face to the ground, covering her head, eyes tightly shut, as the darkness crowded in on her and demons tormented her. She couldn’t see the light while she was in that position. But it was there. It was shining above her. She just needed to look up and reach out for it.

I realised that I liked her. Although she was so angry and unstable, I admired her strength, her confidence, her independence, and her authenticity. She was funny and bright, and I had felt a bit sad as she walked away. I felt that we were kindred. I remembered thinking that she was exactly who I could have become if things in my life hadn’t changed.

By the time I got home I realised it was too late to go back to church to go swimming. Although I initially felt disappointed, I quickly felt joy because I knew that God had a purpose for me that night, a plan, and that he had directed things. It had all gone exactly as God had wanted it to go. It wasn’t a mistake, it wasn’t even a disappointment — it was God’s purpose.

People from church came to my house that night to see if I was okay, and to find out what had happened to me. I told them not to worry, and that God had a different plan for me that night rather than swimming. I told them that God had wanted me to help someone.

Finally, as I was getting ready to go to bed that night, I received a text message from someone in the church, telling me not to let anyone abuse me.

Then I woke up.

Samantha

Written by

Samantha

Hello, my name is Samantha. I decided to start this journal so I have somewhere to store my writings about God, faith, life, and my thoughts and feelings.

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