Interpretation Of The Dream — Unmasking The Enemy.
(11th January 2016)
I’ve been thinking a lot about the dream I had. I haven’t been sure how to look at it. Do I view it in a literal way, or in a symbolic way?
I guess the first thing which sprang to my mind is that I must have done something really bad in the past which I need to confess to God. That seemed obvious. But what?
I have been thinking and thinking and thinking about it, and I honestly cannot think of anything which I have done. Okay, I have certainly made mistakes, done things wrong, and hurt people. But there is nothing big which stands out in my mind.
I started to question whether the dream was even from God. The day after having the dream, I felt a horrible, heavy sense of guilt and condemnation. I was convinced God must be angry with me about something I have done. I felt uneasy and afraid of God.
But then I realised those feelings would not be coming from God. I know he may bring things up which need to be addressed, but he wouldn’t condemn me. The Bible says there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
I started to wonder if Satan had given me the dream to mess with my head. I wondered if it was just a random dream with no significance at all. But it was so vivid, so out of the blue. It shook me so much.
But after considering it some more and asking God for help, I think I may have found some meaning from the dream. I am not saying my interpretation is correct, or that I am gleaning everything there is to learn from it. But I want to go through various things from the dream and what I think is behind it.
Okay…The first man in the dream, the one who betrayed me and turned on me…I think he represents Satan. When I was about 11 or 12 years old, I was very depressed. I’m not sure why I did it, but I basically gave myself over to Satan. I let him have my life and my soul, to do with me whatever he wanted. Obviously I didn’t understand the implications of what I was doing. I wasn’t thinking clearly at all. But in some strange way, I suppose I thought Satan would be a sort of dark partner in life for me. Like a dark companion, so I wouldn’t have to go through life alone. Even though I knew he was bad, I didn’t really understand it. I suppose I thought he would form some sort of allegiance with me, that he would protect me and watch over me, that he would care for me really.
In the dream this man betrayed me and turned against me, which is exactly what Satan does. He comes with promises, trickery and deceit, but really he is against every single one of us.
I’m not entirely certain what was meant by the man I unintentionally hurt and his desire for revenge against me. I do know that I was involved with wrong things for a time though. I was involved with occult practices. I thought it was right, innocent and good. I thought it was the truth. That was until God opened up my eyes and showed me how things really are and what it really means. In the dream the two men were not Christians but had their own “gods,” which makes me think even more that the first man represents Satan.
I know I have done things wrong in my life. I know I have hurt people. There are things I am ashamed about. Some are things I have done, some are things which have been done to me. But I have always struggled with guilt and shame. I have always accepted blame for everything, even when I have been the one who was wronged. People have always been able to easily turn things against me, to cause me to believe I am responsible for things, that I am the one who has done wrong, and that I am guilty. So maybe that part of the dream represents all of the things I have done wrong and my sense of guilt and shame.
In the dream I am trying to escape. I am trying to get away. I am trying to run to God. But everywhere I go, the first man (Satan) appears, reminding me of my guilt, telling me I need to be punished, condemning me, hindering my journey towards God. I can see the light, but the darkness keeps turning up, dragging me back, causing me to hide, paralyzing me.
I guess that represents how I feel now. I sincerely want to get closer to God but I am struggling. I feel weighed down by the past, I feel guilty and unloveable, I feel that I cannot trust anyone, and I feel that I deserve punishment. God, at times, seems so far away. It is like I just can’t reach him because I am still stuck in the darkness. I am trying to reach him but I am never quite getting there. Dark things from the past keep showing up to haunt me, to torment me, and to crush me down to the ground and keep me down. Sometimes I even get confused and wonder whether my tormentor is God himself.
And then there is the man in the car who comes along and rescues me. He is a Christian. I feel a certain sense of trust and safety with him, although I am still guarded. At first I just tell him the bare minimum, but eventually the whole truth comes out. I fear he will lash out, turn against me like the first man, or condemn me. But he doesn’t. He is accepting and keeps on driving, and I know we are getting closer and closer to God.
I can think of a specific person who this man might symbolise, but I do wonder if the man represents the people I have in my life right now. I am going to a good church and am getting to know people. I have people in my life for the first time in many years. I know they are trying to help me. Yet I feel a sense of distrust and resistance. I want to keep people at arm’s length because it seems safer. I suppose I assume that if I really let people get close to me, if I really let them in, and if I really open up to them about everything and just be myself, they will walk away from me, criticise me, condemn me, or turn against me.
But in the dream that didn’t happen. I finally opened up about everything, finally told the truth, and it was okay. I wasn’t criticised. I wasn’t condemned. I wasn’t attacked. I wasn’t abandoned or thrown away. I was understood and accepted, despite what I had done and what had happened to me.
Also in the dream, the man didn’t want anything from me. I remember fearing that he would want perhaps money or sex, that he would manipulate me and try to use me. But he didn’t.
And I think that also reflects my fears right now with the people in my life. I worry that it is all a trick. I worry that they want to hurt me really. I wonder what they want from me. I am especially afraid of being abused, afraid of being touched. I am afraid of blackmail, afraid of being taken advantage of. I have had enough experience of that.
But that wasn’t the case with the man in the dream. So I wonder whether God is trying to tell me that it’s all right, that I can trust the people in my life right now, that they genuinely care and don’t want to hurt me.
I also wonder if God is telling me that I’m on the right path. The man in the dream was driving, and it was like the road ahead of us was light. We were getting further and further away from the house with the two men, and further away from the street and place where it had all happened. The darkness, the past, it was all being left behind. We were moving away from it. I remember feeling a sense of relief and optimism. God seemed to be getting closer and closer, more tangible, more reachable.
Maybe God is trying to tell me to leave the past behind. Maybe he is telling me I’m on the right path, going in the right direction, and that I’m now with the right people.
That is how I have interpreted the dream.
There is something else though. The part of the dream where I am trying to escape is very familiar to me. In fact it is a recurring dream I have. But in the dreams, I am always trying to escape from my parents.
In my head my parents have become almost demonic to me. They are like part of a nightmare. But in this new dream I had, it was a man (Satan) who I was struggling to get away from.
I wonder if the dream has unveiled what, or who, the real issue is. I guess my real enemy isn’t my mom or my dad, but Satan. No matter what has happened, he is behind all of it. I know my parents have been damaged, especially my dad, and I know that Satan wreaks havoc wherever he goes.
I’m not trying to say that what people do or have done is okay, but I do know that it can all be traced back to Satan. He is the real enemy here. I guess my parents are just as much victims as I was.
So that’s something else I have gotten from the dream which I need to think about some more — to stop seeing my parents as the enemy, and to start seeing them as imperfect humans with their own issues, damage, and with their own battles. I think the dream has been a reminder of who I am really up against. The dream has, in effect, unmasked the enemy.
The dream has reminded me of something else too — what God has done for all of us. In the dream, I realised I was guilty. I had done wrong. I had no excuse or defense for myself. And when I tried to run away, I was constantly being reminded of what I had done and how I needed to be punished.
Well, that is the case for all of us. We have all done wrong. We have all sinned. There is nothing we can do or say to justify ourselves. We all deserve to be punished.
But God sent Jesus to take our place. He took on our guilt and sins and paid the penalty for us. That is why, in the dream, I knew my only hope was in God.
Years ago I basically gave myself to Satan. It seemed like that was it. There was no way out of it. But because of Jesus, God has bought me back. He paid the price which I couldn’t pay so I could become his again.
So I no longer belong to Satan — I belong to God. I think that is something I need to keep reminding Satan about…and myself.
