Clearly you’ve got some issues and to top it off had some really garbage dates but I’d also ask you to check your pereption of things.
When you hear the guy said he likes petite women maybe he found you petite. Women have this reason for over analyzing things into the ground and sometimes one person’s defintion is different from another’s.
It sounds like in some cases you are choosing the same TYPE of men. So you may want to identify the red flags you may subconsciously be gravitating to for whatever reason.
Or maybe you are a lesbian and are finally coming to terms with it? You mentioned dating both genders.