The turmoil of losing control of your urges

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Unlike most people, I found the entire year of 2020 to be one of the most personally gratifying of my entire life.

Now, let me start by saying that the pandemic and civil unrest last year played a significant toll on my mental health just like everyone else. Add to that the fact that I’m in the finance and investment business, and the uncertainty in the markets last March and April were difficult to navigate.

But, once things started to settle down a bit towards the end of July, I had almost serene calmness come over me unlike anything I’ve…


What happens when you have kids but never find out?

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This past week, a friend of mine, Pete, called me up to talk about old times and ask how I was doing.

Pete and I played college hockey together and while we were close for a few years after school, we’d kind of lost contact with each other as life drags you in different directions.

He’d heard through some mutual friends that I’d been unwell a few months back and wanted to make sure that I’d not succumbed to the dreaded virus, or as he put it, “I didn’t think that thing was strong enough to kill you.”

I explained…


Checking off one of my Sextember sub-challenges

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I mentioned the other day that my wife, Mel, and I will be participating in our own little Sextember event again this year and this time around we’re adding in a small weekly sub-challenge.

In short, Sextember is a challenge we started for ourselves last year where every single day of the month, one of us has to make the other orgasm at least once between the time we wake up and the time we go to sleep.

We also added a new weekly sub-challenge that must be completed by each Friday in the vein of, “Something Old, Something New…


It’s hard to feel “normal” when you think the world is closing in

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I lead an absurdly blessed life.

I’m healthy, financially secure, respected in my industry, and I have an excellent personal and professional network that I can call on for almost anything.

Most importantly, I have an amazing family.

But anxiety can strike anyone.

This year has been nightmarish for almost everyone.

In April, when everything was in deep lockdown, our business hit a few snags. None of them were potentially fatal, but some people were going to be seriously damaged by the fallout.

In my role, I had to dive in and try and untangle the mess to help keep…


Bringing back a new annual classic to our house

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I don’t know about you, but 2020 has been the longest decade that I can ever remember in my 46 years on this planet.

I woke up early this morning as I usually do to get a bit of work done and sometimes, I even go downstairs into the home gym for a quick workout.

After an hour or so, I usually head back to bed around 7:30am or 8am and have a bit of a cuddle with my wife, Mel, before we both get up and start our day.

This morning as we were having our cuddle, Mel said…


It was my first experience with loud sex and I didn’t love it

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In high school, I wasn’t super experienced sexually.

I had one or two girlfriends where we’d had sex, but then I started dating a girl that was a year older than me and we didn’t have sex. I found out a few years later that Stacey was actually gay and it all made sense.

However, the opening of my eyes to the possibilities of great sex came from a nearly year-long secret relationship that I’d had with Stacey’s mother, Jen, after she and I broke up.

It’s a bit cliche, but Jen taught me the ways of the world as…


It was the best switcheroo ever

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A few years back, I was asked to speak at an event in Nashville and normally, I’d take a pass, but for some reason, I happened to know that around the time of the conference, my favorite NHL team was also playing in “Smashville”, so I decided that I’d do the trip, get tickets for the game, and make it all totally worth it.

It’s not that I don’t like Nashville, in fact, quite the contrary, it’s one of the coolest places to hang out in the country, but the event was targeted at academics who were trying to merge…


How not to be a third wheel or “that guy”

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Pretty much every heterosexual guy at some point in their life has had a fantasy about how amazing it would be to have a threesome with two women.

Some guys will have dreams about being involved in a threesome with a woman and another guy — sometimes there’s a bit of guy on guy action, sometimes there’s not.

It’s such a common fantasy that it’s kind of become a cliche.

And in every single one of these scenarios, the guy in question sees themselves as this part of this fluid sexual orchestra where everyone’s body parts and limbs move in…


We had a hot time in Hotlanta

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I love the southern United States.

Like anywhere, it has its fair share problems with poverty and inequality, but one thing that the South tends to have in spades is a certain sense of hospitality and courtesy that other parts of the country can sometimes lack.

When you turn up at an old-style restaurant or better yet, a diner, in the South, people treat you special — you’re a welcomed guest and they want to make sure that they share a part of their experience with you.

One of my favorite places in all of America is Macon, Georgia.

Macon…


Giving up some regular side sex until this blows over

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I’m someone with a very healthy sexual appetite and as part of my normal sexual degustation, there is always a fair bit of fun, casual sex with a few regular partners.

When I travel, things can get a bit wild on the casual sex.

But now it’s time for a bit of a confession… We’ll harken back to my Catholic upbringing for the right words.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, it’s been seven months since I’ve had sex with someone who isn’t my wife.”

Ok, maybe “sin” isn’t the right word in this context, but from a writing…

Average Don Juan

Your average, everyday mid-40’s sexually adventurous guy that’s sharing his stories. You can reach me at: averagedonjuan@gmail.com

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